


Kravitz's Moving Castle

by phantomthief_fee



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Basically weird immortal raven dude with his tiny apprentice and magical boyfriend, Howl's Moving Castle AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2018-12-11 18:51:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11720379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomthief_fee/pseuds/phantomthief_fee
Summary: Taako is a humble baker from New Elfington who does not make good decisions. After insulting the Witches of Wonderland he loses his beauty and goes looking for the mythical wizard Kravitz.





	1. Chapter 1

This whole thing is based off of [this](http://tuherrus.tumblr.com/post/159122882657/i-know-theres-a-lot-of-this-crossover-w-taz-but) by tuherrus on Tumblr.

* * *

 

Taako had lived in New Elfington all his life, and he was bored with it. Sure, working in a bakery with his sister was the bee’s knees (it combined his two favorite pastimes of magic and baking) but he wanted a little more out of life than baking day in and day out. Lup always told him he sounded like some kind of fairytale princess when he brought up his thoughts.

“I want something more!” She’d say in an exaggerated falsetto.

“You’re the worst!” He’d retaliate by pushing her onto her bed. This’d usually escalate into a slappy fight. It was fun and all, but he felt like she wasn’t taking him seriously. He really did want more from his life than staying in New Elfington and baking. He wanted adventure, like the kind he’d read about in books when he and Lup were little. But then again, if he just left, Lup would be all alone. All they had were each other and he couldn’t just leave her. Not after everything else that had happened in their lives. He sighed as he stirred the batter for the cinnamon rolls. Lup had gone to visit her “boyfriend” at his lab, leaving Taako alone to finish the day’s orders. It wasn’t like she was ditching work, they were almost done after all. Taako could see how happy that nerd Barry made her. Things had been tense lately, and she deserved to be able to see her boyfriend. Lup didn’t deserve to suffer because of the war going on.

“We’re heading out.” One of the junior bakers said. “Do you want to come with us?”

“Nah, I’m gonna finish here.” Taako waved a hand dismissively.

“Do you want any help?” Another asked.

“Nah homies.” Taako shook his whisk. “You guys go have some fun. Y’all deserve it.” So the junior bakers left and Taako finished the cinnamon rolls. He looked out the window while the rolls baked. It was a beautiful day outside, which was probably why they were holding some kind of military parade. It was all military parades all the time these days. Taako just wanted this war to be over. He’d never been one to enjoy violence, not to mention the discourse that came with the topic of war was absolutely unbearable. Suddenly he spotted something in the rolling hills of the Wastes. A strange hodgepodge castle making its way through the area. Kravitz’s castle. There were few people who didn’t know about Kravitz the wizard. Taako didn’t put a lot of stock in the stories, because there was an urban legend for just about everything. Supposedly Kravitz was a wizard who ate the hearts of people he found attractive. Taako was pretty sure he didn’t have anything to worry about. Who would find someone like him attractive?

Sure, he was aesthetically pleasing, but he hadn’t really done anything to set him apart from the other elves of New Elfington. Other than...Glamor Springs that was. He shook his head quickly, trying to clear all thoughts of the matter from his mind. He’d been cleared by the police. But still...If he had just been nicer to Sazed, maybe it wouldn’t have happened. If he had given them a chance...He shook his head again. He shouldn’t be thinking about that now. That had been years ago. Lup had dragged him back here to get away from that kind of shit. The oven timer dinged behind him, and he turned back to the job at hand. The cinnamon rolls came out and were frosted before being put into the boxes and stacked up for pickup the next day. With that done, he decided to set off to go visit Lup.

He hadn’t been to Barry’s lab before. Lup had given him the address when she’d first started going out with the scientist, but he’d never actually gone to that place. He left the safety of the bakery, the paper clutched tightly in his hands. He took the packed streetcar to the center of town, and began to navigate the winding sides streets and back alleys. He walked and walked and walked and walked until his feet started to hurt. All the addresses seemed to blur together. He couldn’t find the lab, no matter how he tried. As he glowered at the piece of paper in his hands, he ran into two soldiers. Taako mentally groaned. The town was practically crawling with soldiers these days. Despite the war going on, a few always seemed to have time off, prowling about for locals to screw with. Taako had been hit on more times than he could count by human soldiers who wanted to see what it was like to do it with an elf.

“Hey there, you lost?” One of the soldiers asked, leaning up against the wall beside Taako.

“Nah.” Taako tried to push past the two soldiers. “I’m good, hombre.”

“Where’re you going in such a hurry?” The other soldier leaned in close. “You look thirsty. Why don’t you grab a drink with us?”

“I said I’m fine.” Taako said. “I’m going to visit my sister.” He tried once more to push past them, but the first one grabbed his wrist, pulling him forward.

“You scared ‘im.” He said to his friend. “It’s because of your mustache.”

“I think he’s cute when he’s scared.” The second soldier leered. “Like a little mouse.” One of them reached out to pinch Taako’s cheek.

“Hey! Hands off the goods!” Taako snapped.

“Oooh! He’s a feisty one.” The first soldier laughed. “I think I’m going to enjoy this.” Taako’s heart was pounding out of his chest. In this back street, there was no one there to help him. He didn’t have any weapons, and the soldiers had him in a position where he couldn’t easily fight back. He was trapped. He could try a spell, but that would likely draw the attention of others and then there would be a whole scene and that just seemed unpleasant. He’d probably get arrested for something like treason. Then what would Lup do?

“There you are.” He felt a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” Taako turned slowly, and his breath caught in his throat. Standing beside him was one of the most handsome men he’d ever seen. The man was tall and broad-shouldered, his skin just a few shades lighter than Taako’s. His cheekbones could cut bread. Taako almost fainted on the spot.

“Who the Hell are you?” One of the soldiers asked.

“I’m his friend.” The man said, smiling. “Now, why don’t you take a walk?” He flicked his finger and the soldiers assumed a marching stance and marched away. Neither of the soldiers knew what was going on, nor would they. They were gone before they could fully process what was happening.

“Forgive them, they didn’t mean to hurt you.” The man said. “Now, where are you going? Allow me to escort you along your way.”

“That’d be pretty awesome, my man.” Taako said, grinning his gap-toothed smile. He held up the address. The man studied it for a moment, then nodded. He held Taako a little closer, slipping his arm around the elf’s waist.

“Act natural. I’m being followed.” He whispered, his breath tickling Taako’s already rather sensitive ear. “Let’s walk.” And so they started walking, Taako taking this opportunity to lean as heavily as he could on this mysterious man. Granted, the guy was suspicious as hell, and putting on the most obviously fake accent Taako had ever heard, but that didn’t matter. This guy was a dreamboat and Taako absolutely had to get his contact information. His bliss was interrupted by some very strange creatures. They were humanoid in appearance, although they appeared to be made of some kind of black goop. They were dressed in ridiculously gaudy clothing that looked straight out of Taako’s dreams. The man pulled them down another side street, away from the creatures.

“My apologies. I didn’t mean to get you involved.” The man said to Taako. The creatures seemed to be pouring in from all sides, everywhere they went, every street they turned down the creatures were there. Soon they seemed to be surrounded. That was when the man did something entirely unexpected. He stopped, tensed, and then they were in the air. Taako’s eyes widened. They were...flying. They were really flying. He’d levitated before, but it had never been like this. He’d never been this high up before without being in a building. Taako tensed up, curling into a ball.

“Straighten out your legs.” The man said. Taako obeyed. “Now start walking.” Surprisingly, he could walk almost as if they were on solid ground. It was magic. It had to be. The man was a wizard. Taako had somehow run into another wizard. But was he Kravitz? As they floated over the town, Taako discreetly studied the man for any distinguishing features that could confirm him to be Kravitz. The man wore a sharp black suit, and had a raven skull on a chain around his neck, resting easily on his red tie. Taako had heard Kravitz had a thing about ravens.

“So, what’s your name, handsome?” Taako asked.

“I have many names.” The man said. “But most call me Kravitz.” Taako snorted. It was adorable how dramatic this man was.

“Kravitz, huh? Like that wizard who eats hearts?”

“The very same.” Kravitz smiled. “Are you afraid of me?”

“Of you?” Taako snorted and shook his head. “Nah.” Kravitz seemed genuinely perplexed by this answer. His brow furrowed and he looked away from Taako. The elf could see what he assumed to be Barry’s lab in the distance. It was a big wooden building with smoke billowing out the chimneys. He was surprised how quickly they had gotten over there. They reached the balcony of the lab, and Kravitz deposited Taako on the floor, perching himself on the railing.

“I’ll distract them.” He said. “But you should wait for a little before going out, alright?”

“Sure.”

“Good boy.” Kravitz winked at him and jumped off the railing. Taako sighed dreamily. Well, that had certainly been an interesting first encounter, but not unpleasant. So the great and mighty Kravitz wasn’t nearly as terrifying as he’d been led to believe. A few moments later, the door to the balcony slammed open and Lup came running out.

“Taako! Lucas said you floated down out of the sky!” She said, grabbing him by his shoulders.

“Hello to you too, Lulu.” Taako said. “No, my trip over wasn’t too bad.”

“Oh, right, sorry.” Lup put up her hands. “Hey bro. What’s up? You floated down out of the sky!”

“Uh...Do you guys want to use my office?” Lucas Miller poked his face through the doorway. “The people in the street might get freaked out.”

“Uh, sure.” Lup said. “There aren’t any experiments going in there, are they? Because I don’t want to get caught in another explosion.”

“No, there’s nothing going in there.” Lucas said, rolling his eyes. So the siblings moved to Lucas’ office. It was cluttered with various papers, books, and gemstones. There was barely enough room to stand, but they managed it somehow. As soon as Lup shut the door, she was back in Taako’s face, demanding to know exactly what had happened. Her brother was decently good at levitation magic, but not enough to carry himself all the way across town from the bakery to the lab.

“I might’ve met a guy~” Taako smiled slyly. “Some soldier schmucks were bothering me and this total dreamboat swooped in and saved me.”

“Did you get his name? Tell me you got his name.”

“Kravitz.”

“Wait, like THE Kravitz?” Lup’s eyes widened. “The one who eats guys’ hearts?”

“I thought he ate girls’ hearts too.” As Taako spoke, he realized he didn’t want to be having this conversation. It wasn’t like he was ever going to see that gorgeous hunk of man meat again. Kravitz was some big important wizard guy who had places to be and people to see. There was a war going on after all, so Kravitz was probably right in the middle of it. He’d probably forget Taako within the day.  

“Then you thought wrong. I have it on good authority he’s gayer than you.” Lup said. “But that’s not the point. You met THE Kravitz and he didn’t eat your heart. Your charm must be stronger than we thought. Maybe even love at first sight?”

“I don’t know about that.” Taako shrugged a little. “He probably only goes after guys who are more accomplished. Who have stuff to offer, y’know? He wouldn’t be interested in someone like me.”

“You’ve gotta stop saying things like that.” Lup’s ears drooped. “I know I give you a hard time about your whole ‘I want more’ thing, but if you really feel that way you should go follow your dreams.”

“I can’t just leave you.” Taako said.

“Taako,” Lup put her hands on her brother’s shoulders. “Things aren’t like when we were kids. I’ll be okay if you want to go out and live your dreams. Don’t put my happiness above yours. Okay?” She smiled and pinched his cheek.

“Okay.” Taako rubbed his cheek and smiled back. “I should probably get back to the bakery now. Gotta get the rest of the stuff packaged up.”

“Stay safe. I hear the Witches of Wonderland are in the area.”

“The Witches of Wonderland?” Taako frowned.

“Those weird siblings who live in the Wastes.” Lup explained. “The ones Magnus went after.”

“Oh.” Taako’s face fell. He remembered them. A friend of theirs, Magnus, had gone looking for Wonderland a few years earlier, about the time the war had started. He hadn’t come back, leading most everyone to assume he was dead. Lup and Taako had never given up hope though. Someone like Magnus couldn’t just have died....He couldn’t have.

“Anyway, be careful.” Lup said. “And if you see that wizard again, get some.” Taako rolled his eyes and left with a small smile. He made his way through the streets, careful not to run into the soldiers he’d met before. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight. Unfortunately, someone else was waiting for him when he returned to the bakery. He entered, locking the door behind him before going to package the other pastries. Suddenly he heard the door open.

“Sorry, we’re closed.” He said, turning to face his visitors. It was a man and a woman, maybe a little older than Taako himself, dressed in black clothing that almost looked oily and malleable. Their skin was a sickly green, as if a contagion flowed through their veins. They had obviously been elves at one point, judging from their ears and level of beauty, but Taako wasn’t entirely sure what they were now.

“What a cute little bakery.” The woman said to her companion, as though Taako wasn’t even there. “It’s so quaint and homely~”

“Just the kind of place Keetz would like.” The man replied.

“What a cute little elf.” The woman glided over, inclining Taako’s face towards hers with one hand. Taako immediately recoiled.

“We’re closed.” He said again. “You guys gotta leave.”

“So unfriendly.” The man said. “Where’s all that charm you showed Keetz? Or are we not your type?”

“Look, I don’t know who Keetz is, but I really need to close up shop.” Taako snapped, feeling his cheeks redden. “So if y’all would just move along that would be great.”

“He’s so rude.” The woman turned to her companion. “What do you think we should do about that?” Her tone of voice scared Taako a little bit, and he was struck with the feeling that he had just angered some people he really shouldn’t have.

“.....You’re the Witches of Wonderland, aren’t you?” He asked in a low voice.

“Oooh! He’s clever!” The man said.

“My name is Lydia!” The woman announced. “And this is my brother Edward.” Lydia and Edward. The people who had taken one of his best friends from him. Taako’s hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“What are you going to do to me?”

“Well....” Lydia tapped one shapely finger on her chin. “There are so many things we could take from you.”

“Your ability to cook, to speak, your memories of those you love.” Edward listed the things off on his fingers. “But I think the best thing to take would be...”

“Your beauty.” Lydia finished. “Elves are known for beauty, aren’t they? Taking that away from you would be, well it would be quite awful, wouldn’t it? Especially for the self-esteem of one such as yourself.” Before Taako could answer, the siblings seemed to pass through him. He felt cold as they phased through his body, every hair standing up. Then the twins were at the door.

“Bye bye little elf.” Edward said.

“And do give our regards to Keetz when you see him.” Lydia blew him a kiss. They slipped out the door and were gone. Taako stood where he was for a few minutes, trying to calm himself down. His heart pounded against his chest, and for a moment he thought it might pound out of his chest. Finally, he managed to get himself under control and went up to his room to check out the damage. Taako didn’t consider himself to be a vain person, (who did?) but being an elf came with certain...y’know...standards. Elves were hella judgemental, and even looking plain was considered to be taboo. Appearances were practically everything to elves and those...those bastards knew it! Taako glowered at his reflection in the mirror. His lips were far less plump, his skin not as soft, his hair limper and less fluffy. Even his ears were droopy. He groaned, falling onto the bed facefirst. Okay, well, it looked like he was going to be seeing Kravitz after all. He was now cursed, he could feel it crawling all over his skin, and if anyone could break it, it was Kravitz.

“Bro? You still up?” He heard Lup enter the bakery downstairs. “I’m assuming the answer’s yes because the lights are still on.”

“I’m upstairs!” He yelled. There was a click as the lights were turned off and Lup ascended the stairs up to Taako’s room.

“Is something wrong?” She asked, opening the door.

“Yes.”

“What is it?” She immediately ran to his side, rolling him over. She frowned when she saw his face and pulled back for a moment.

“The Witches of Wonderland came in here.” Taako said. “I’m cursed now, Lulu.”

“Don’t call me that.” She said, almost out of habit. She looked him over and nodded slowly. “Well...It could be worse.”

“Thanks, Lup.”

“I’m being realistic. They could have done a lot worse than take away your beauty and you know it.”

“....Yeah.”

“So, what are we going to do about this?”

“What do you think I’m gonna do?” Taako asked. “I’m gonna go find Kravitz.” Lup blinked and nodded slowly.

“Okay. Yeah. I guess that’s a good idea.” She said. “It is a little dangerous though. You could run into the Witches again. What were they like anyway?”

“They seemed kinda like they were going for the creepy twin thing, maybe trying a little too hard.” Taako waved a hand a tad dismissively. “They were pretty fucking weird, y’know?”

“I would expect nothing less.” Lup nodded appreciatively. “We could totally out-twin them though.”

“Totally.” Taako yawned. “I’m...I’m gonna go to bed now. Gotta be up early tomorrow to find Krav’s castle.”

“Okay.” Lup got up. “Remember, be safe. I want you to come back, eventually.” Taako nodded and curled up in a ball to sleep.

The next morning, Taako packed a little rucksack with food, some clothes, and a spare wand. He put on his traveling clothes, which were by far the plainest thing he owned, and his traveling hat. He refused to look in a mirror, not wanting to see himself again. As he was leaving, Lup pressed her umbrastaff into his hands.

“Take it.” She said. “You’re gonna need it more than me.”

“Not sure I want an ugly ass umbrella, but thanks.” He hooked the staff in the crook of his arm. “Well....This is it.” Lup put her hands on Taako’s shoulders, looking very serious.

“You find that guy and you climb him like a tree.”

“Curse first.” Taako said. “Then I’ll get some.”

“Right. Of course.” She opened the door for him. He took a deep breath and set out. He kept his head down, his hat pulled low over his face. No one looked his way because of all the soldiers and parades around. No one cared about a single elf making his way through the streets. It took him the entire day to get out of the city, which left him far too much time to think about what he was doing. Part of him was excited to finally be going out and going on an adventure, while another part was absolutely terrified. He was going after a wizard who supposedly ate people’s hearts after being cursed by some of the most dangerous witches this side of the country.

“I’m too delicate for this.” He said to himself as he reached the edge of the town. Once he got there he hitched a ride on a wagon that could take him into the Wastes.

“You want to go into the Wastes?” The smaller of the two women asked. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“He probably has his reasons, Hurley.” The taller woman said. “Although I agree, it’s a bad idea.”

“I’m just looking for a friend of mine.” Taako said, trying his best to act cool.

“You’re crazy for wanting to go out there right now.” The taller woman shook her head. “The Witches just came by the other day. You do not want to run into them.”

“Sloane! You’re gonna scare him!” Hurley shoved her girlfriend gently.

“Look, I’ll give you 100 gold pieces to take me to the Wastes.” Taako held out a bag of money. “Please, I need to find him.” Sloane and Hurley exchanged a look, their brows furrowed. Finally, they gestured for him to get on the cart. He sat in the back, right behind most of the hay. It was a pretty bumpy ride, which was more than a little uncomfortable, but he had to get to Kravitz no matter what. Not only to break his curse, but to find out what happened to Magnus.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Hurley asked when they got to their destination.

“We can still take you back to town.” Sloane said.

“Thanks, but this is something I have to do.” Taako said. Then he got his bags and set off into the wilderness. Sloane and Hurley watched him go before unloading their shipment and heading back to the city. The going in the Wastes was tough. The terrain was rocky and steep, and Taako was not made for hiking. He needed a walking stick or something. Grumbling to himself, he looked around for a long stick to use. He saw one sticking out of a bush to the side of the road.

“Perfect!” He ran over and started pulling. At first, the stick wouldn’t budge. It was in there pretty tightly. Taako stood back, breathing heavily. Okay. This was going to require a little more effort. He spat on his hands, rubbed them together, then jumped onto the stick. Taako hit the ground and the stick careened out of the bush, going flying.  As it turned out, the stick wasn’t a stick at all, but the base of a scarecrow. The scarecrow was big, taller than Taako and much broader. It was wooden, looking a little like the store mannequins in town. It wore a white cape and had a scar where its left eye would have been.

“Hey there big guy.” Taako laughed a little. “What were you doing in there?” The scarecrow just jumped up and down, acting like it was rather excited to see him. So it was a magic scarecrow. It reminded him a little bit of Magnus, honestly.

“Hey, you think you could help me find Kravitz’s castle?” He asked. “I kinda need to find that guy. Bounce once for yes, two for no.” The scarecrow bounced once, then started bouncing away. Taako scrambled up and followed as best he could. The scarecrow hopped pretty fast, obviously eager to help.

“Slow down, big guy!” Taako yelled. “My legs aren’t as long as yours!” The scarecrow stopped and turned, hopping in place until Taako caught up then hopping away again. This pattern continued until they entered a dense fog. That was when the scarecrow stopped. He hopped in place, Taako standing beside him.

“What’re we waiting for?” He stage-whispered. The scarecrow hopped, almost seeming to point deeper into the fog. Taako strained his eyes, managing to make out an outline in the fog. Soon though he didn’t have to squint. A hulking shape lunged out of the fog. It was a large building held up on four mechanical legs. It wasn’t so much a castle as something that a child might have cobbled together with various parts of other different buildings. Taako’s heart began to pound. This was it. The castle stopped right in front of him, the door inches from him. The scarecrow motioned to it.

“I guess this is it.” Taako looked back at the scarecrow. “Thanks for everything, buddy. Hope I’ll be seeing you again.” Then he opened the door and went inside. The room he entered was dimly lit by a fire burning in an ornate fireplace. Books and magical artifacts were crammed into every single possible shelf, but the room was surprisingly neat and clean. Taako looked around, checking every possible nook and cranny for someone else. Once he was sure he was alone, he sat down in front of the fire, completely worn out.

“Who are you?” A woman’s voice came from somewhere Taako couldn’t quite place. Then he looked at the fire before him. A woman’s face flickered in the flames.

“Oh. Hey.” Taako blinked and looked down at the fire. “Name’s Taako Taaco. Who’re you?”

“I’m Raven.” The fire said. “I’m a demon. And you have a nasty curse on you. You come here to get Kravitz to take it off ya?” She seemed rather smug. It probably wasn’t the first time someone had come to the castle hoping to get a spell removed.

“Yep.” There was no use in lying to her.

“Okay.” Raven grinned. “Well, I’ll put in a good word for you. But in exchange, you have to help me sort out the curse that’s on Kravitz and me.” Taako frowned. Kravitz had a curse on him? And this lady, or demon, wanted him to fix it?

“How am I supposed to do that?” He asked.

“You’ve got a lot of magical power, kid.” Raven said shrugging her nonexistent shoulders. “I have no doubt that you can do it.”

“So it’s an eye for an eye kinda thing with you, huh?”

“You can’t get something for nothing. That’s how this works.” Raven said. “Now, you should get some sleep. I’m sure you’ve had a long day and you need a break. You can talk to Kravitz in the morning.”

“Mm.” Taako was already dozing off. As he slipped off into sleep, he wondered whether or not Kravitz would be excited to see him again. He was certainly looking forward to their meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet everyone's favorite boy detective!

Taako woke up the next morning to find a boy’s face inches from his own. The boy looked maybe ten years old at most, with almost comically large gold rimmed spectacles perched on his brown nose. The boy was in general very very brown, from his hair to his eyes.

“Sir, who are you?” The boy asked. “And how did you get in here?” Taako blinked sleepily and sat up.

“Hey there, kiddo.” He said. “What’s your name?”

“My name is Angus McDonald.” The boy said. “And you did not answer my question.”

“Taako Taaco, my dude.” Taako held out his hand. “You might recognize me from my cooking show.” Angus stared at Taako’s hand for a moment, as if he was figuring out what to make of it. He did shake it in the end, if tentatively.

“I don’t recognize you, sir. I’m sorry.” He said. “But I’m sure your show was very impressive.”

“Okay.” Taako rolled his eyes and sat up, yawning. “So. Do you work for Kravitz or something?” Can’t think of any other reason a kid like you’d be here.”

“Yes, sir!” Angus perked up. “I’m his apprentice! He’s teaching me how to do magic!” Taako couldn’t help but like the little guy. He was so genuinely excited. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

“Neverwinter door!” Raven called out. Angus jumped up, putting on a cloak and pulling the hood over his head. Almost immediately the boy’s appearance changed to that of an old man with a long white beard. Angus went to the door, switching it to the blue before opening it.

“Hello sir.” He said, putting on a frankly ridiculous voice. “How can I help you?”

“I have come to inquire after the wizard Jenkins.” The man said, bowing to Angus. “Is he currently at home?”

“He’s stepped out at the moment. May I take a message?”

“The king requests his presence at the palace. All wizards are required by the crown to report to the king.” The man handed a letter to the boy. “Please give this to him.”

“Thank you. I will pass the message along.” The man walked away and Angus closed the door. Then he looked at Taako, pulling off his hood.

“Did you see that, sir?” He asked. “My magic is getting a lot better!”

“Sure is, Ango.” Taako was pretty sure that was the right response. The illusion magic had indeed been rather impressive, even if the boy’s acting hadn’t been. Angus grinned and stuck the letter on the table under a thick tome. Then the bell rang again.

“Goldcliff door!” Raven rose again to say. Angus pulled his hood back down and went to the door once more.

“I’m looking for...” The courier sighed deeply. “Greg the Juicy Wizard. The king requests he come to the palace.” Taako tried very hard not to start laughing. Greg the Juicy Wizard? He was assuming that was some kind of alter ego of Kravitz. But seriously? Juicy Wizard?

“I will give the message to my master once he arrives.” Angus took the letter and closed the door. He stuck it under the first letter.

“Did Raven let you in last night?” He asked, suddenly rounding on Taako with a look of determination and a lot of more cunning than Taako had initially anticipated the child had in him. Taako backed up a little bit.

“Uh...no? I just sorta came in.” Taako said. “Why...?”

“Just curious. Since she didn’t torch you I guess you’re alright.” Angus sat down at the table in the middle of the room. “Do you know how to cook? I don’t think Mr. Kravitz is going to be home for breakfast and I’m not allowed to touch the fire because I’m ten.”

“Do I know how to cook?” Taako scoffed. “Kid, I ran a cooking show! I can cook your pants off!”

“Can you make breakfast then?” Angus looked at him, batting his eyelashes. Taako didn’t answer, picking up a frying pan and placing it over Raven, who complied as much as was possible. He picked up some bacon, some eggs, and started cooking them over the fire. He was going to make some damned good breakfast and blow this kid’s socks off. While he was cooking, the doorbell went off again and Angus put his disguise back on. This time it was an invite for the wizard Kravitz to come to the palace.

“Is Kravitz his first or last name?” Taako asked as Angus took off his disguise again.

“His last name, sir.” Angus said, setting the letter down beside the first. “His first name is...Macallister I think? He doesn’t talk about it much.” He frowned and looked at the two letters. “Mr. Kravitz isn’t going to be happy. He doesn’t like the palace.”

“Who does?” Taako shrugged. “Bureaucracy isn’t really my thing, y’know? Glad I’m not alone in that.”

“Taako, what are you doing here?” Taako turned and saw Kravitz standing in the doorway. The little color wheel was on black, and behind the wizard he could see a hellish landscape of fire and smoke. The door quickly slammed shut as soon as Taako looked at it.

“Hey~” Taako waved with the spatula in his hand. “How’s it hanging homeboy?”

“He got cursed.” Raven said, reached up to grab one of the eggshells with one firey arm. “He came here to get it reversed. Don’t know how he found the castle exactly, but he seemed nice-ish so I let him in.”

“You’re cursed?” Angus asked.

“Oh yeah. They-” And then his mouth couldn’t form any words. He frowned and tried to tell Kravitz about the curse, but again couldn’t manage to say what he wanted to.

“I understand.” Kravitz ascended the stairs, a black cape sweeping out behind him. “I suppose it was the work of the Witches of Wonderland?”

“Yeah.” Taako went back to cooking, decidedly more bemused now. Fucking Witches of Wonderland. He hated them even more now. He stabbed at the pan. A moment later, Kravitz slipped in beside him, taking the pan and spatula away from him. For a moment, their hands touched, and Taako sighed dreamily before regaining his composure.

“You cook?” Taako raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I sort of have to.” Kravitz shrugged slightly. “It’s only me and Angus and he’s, well, he’s eleven. I will admit, I’m not amazing at it, but you’re my guest and you shouldn’t have to cook”

“Mm hm.” Taako pushed him away. “Okay, I’m gonna stop you there homie. I’m a chef. I outrank you in the cooking department. So you’re gonna sit down and I’m gonna make y’all breakfast.”

“But you’re-”

“No buts. Sit.” Taako snatched the spatula back and gently hip checked Kravitz. “Now watch the master work.” Angus giggled as Kravitz sheepishly sat back down. He wasn’t used to seeing anyone talk to Kravitz like that. Mostly people were too scared by Kravitz to sass him. It was funny to see the terrifying Kravitz taken down a peg by the small and soft Taako. Angus tried not to laugh too hard as Taako worked. The elf was humming a little song as he cooked, shaking his hips along with the tune. Kravitz found himself transfixed by the motion of Taako’s hips.

“Are you okay, sir?” Angus whispered. “You’ve been staring at Taako for awhile now.”

“Oh, um, yes. I’m fine.” Kravitz said quickly, looking away.

“Like what you see, handsome?” Taako wiggled his eyebrows at Kravitz, giving his hips another shake. Kravitz sputtered out something that was probably supposed to be indignant or dismissive, but only served to embolden Taako. He continued to do his little dance as he served up the eggs and bacon.

“Mind getting us some bread?” He asked, looking to Kravitz. Kravitz nodded and scrambled to get the loaf.

“Jumpy, isn’t he?” Taako snickered as he settled down.

“This is what he’s usually like.” Angus grabbed some of the bacon, stuffing it into his mouth. “He’s kinda weird, I know.”

“I’m right here.” Kravitz said, practically slamming the loaf onto the table. “Now who wants bread?” Angus raised his hand, as did Taako. Kravitz drew a wicked looking knife from his cloak, starting to carve off pieces of bread for each of them.

“Thanks.” Taako winked at Kravitz and took a bite of his bread.

“Don’t mention it.” Kravitz said. He put the knife down and began to eat as well. Then he stopped and frowned at Taako. “Taako, what’s that in your pocket?”

“Is this the setup for some lame pickup line?” Taako asked, reaching into his pocket. “Because if it is-” He stopped and frowned as well. He drew out a piece of paper. How had that gotten into his pocket? He hadn’t even been wearing these yesterday.

“Let me see that.” Kravitz held his hand out. Taako shrugged and handed it over. As soon as it touched Kravitz’s skin there was a spark. Not a romantic spark, a literal spark of flame. Kravitz recoiled as if he’d touched a hot stove. The paper fell to the table, burning a symbol into the wood.

“The fuck?” Taako rubbed his hand. His skin wasn’t even warm. What the Hell had happened? And how had this thing even gotten into clothing in the first place? The first thing that came to mind were those damn Wonderland Witches. He started gritting his teeth. No. Calm down Taako, he told himself. He couldn’t just get pissy in front of Kravitz.

“This is old magic.” Kravitz narrowed his eyes, leaning over the symbol. “Where on Earth did you get this, Taako?”

“Fuck if I know.”

“What does it say?” Angus asked.

“Lemme take a crack at it.” Taako made a big show of preparing himself before bending over the symbol as well. “You who swallowed a falling star, your heart as black as coal. You can run to the ends of the earth, but we will have your soul.” Taako snorted. “Oooh. Spooky.”

“That doesn’t sound good...” Angus gnawed on his lip. “Sir, do you know what that means? Sir?” Both Angus and Taako turned to Kravitz, whose face had gone as pale as it realistically could.

“Krav? You okay?” Taako asked, putting a hand on Kravitz’s shoulder. He wondered vaguely if he was being too forward. Nah, didn’t matter. He was gonna take every opportunity he could to get as close to Kravitz as possible.

“Taako, who cursed you?” Kravitz put his hand on Taako’s, almost seeming to draw strength from the warmth of Taako’s skin.

“The Witches of Wonderland.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.” Kravitz drew a shaking breath.

“Kravitz, who are they to you?” Angus asked. “You always react like this whenever they get brought up. They have to mean something to you.”

“They said something about giving their regards to some guy named Keetz.” Taako said.

“That’s...That’s me.” Kravitz said weakly. “They call me Keetz.”

“Your name is Keetz.”

“No...It’s just their nickname for me.” Kravitz squirmed a little under this line of questioning. “It stuck more than Mac, that’s for sure. Would’ve preferred Mac though.”

“Well, I’ll never call you that.” Taako said, squeezing Kravitz’s hand. Any words that passed their foul lips would never be applied to Kravitz. Especially not now that Taako had learned Kravitz was actually a gigantic dork.

“They’ve been following him for a long time now.” Raven piped up. “They think he left them because a demon ate his heart.”

“Well, why did he leave?” Taako asked.

“They...They were dabbling in things they shouldn’t have been.” Kravitz pulled away, standing up and cleaning his plate. “I should go.” He quickly disappeared upstairs after putting his dishes into the sink.

“They consorted with necromancers, dabbled in black magic.” Raven explained. “So he ran away.”

“But why would they do that?” Angus asked.

“He was a sick kid, from what he tells me.” Raven shrugged with her incorporeal shoulders. “Those two weirdos probably freaked out and did everything they could to keep him from dying.”

“So why isn’t he dying now?” Taako said.

“That’s a question I don’t think you want to ask.” Raven’s gaz sharpened. Angus squeaked and backed up a little, clinging instinctively to Taako. The elf put his arms around Angus, dragging him back a bit.

“Why don’t we do some cleaning?” He suggested.

“Well, there’s not much to really clean, sir.” Angus said. “Kravitz keeps everything pretty tidy. Part of my chores involve me cleaning my room and this area.” He gestured vaguely to the front area.

“Can’t hurt to do another sweep.” Taako put his hands on his hips. “Now, where do you keep the cleaning supplies?” Angus showed him where they kept the brooms and dustpans and Taako dragged Angus along. The little boy took Taako on an improvised tour of the castle, which was a lot bigger than Taako had ever anticipated. As they went, Taako made a half-hearted attempt at cleaning whatever dust there was. Angus had been right, there wasn’t a lot to be done in terms of cleaning.

“Man, he really does keep this place spotless.” Taako muttered as they rounded back to the main room.

“I think cleaning calms him down.” Angus said, settling on a chair in front of the fire. “That and music. I always find him composing when he’s stressed.”

“Reminds me of a nerd I know.” Taako pulled up a chair next to him. “The cleaning part, I mean. Guy’s always cleaning something or another in his downtime. That or making out with my sister.”

“Do you not approve of her choice of partner?” Angus asked, tilting his head to the side.  

“Nah. It’s not like that.” Taako reached over to ruffle Angus’ hair. “You’re way to serious, little man. I like giving him a hard time, that’s all. It’s something we both do.”

“Are you and your sister close?” Angus scooted himself a little closer. He was curious by nature, always wanting to know everything about everyone he met. He had a feeling Taako wasn’t about to leave any time soon, so he might as well figure out all he could about the elf.

“It’s me and her against the world.” Taako’s expression turned slightly solemn. “That’s the way it’s always been.”

“You...You don’t have any other family?”

“Do you?” Angus was taken a bit off guard by the sudden question directed towards him.

“Well, um...” Angus began to squirm. “N-Not really. My parents left me with my grandpa and he...He um....” Angus sniffled. “He died a few years ago and I was all alone and....And Kravitz found me and took me in.” He wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt. “I owe him my life.”

“Well shit, you’re gonna make me fall in love with him.” Taako laughed. Instead of laughing with him, Angus peered curiously over his glasses at Taako.

“Would you really fall in love with him?” The boy asked.

“Well, I...I don’t know.” Taako said, looking away quickly. “I barely know the guy. I mean, sure, he’s a total dreamboat, but I don’t know if I want to date him or whatever.”

“Date who?” Taako stiffened as Kravitz appeared at the top of the stairs. He was freshly dressed in a new suit, and evidently had taken a bath judging from the lingering moisture in his hair.

“Nothing. Where’re you off to, handsome?”

“Nowhere special.” Kravitz descended the stairs, cloak billowing out behind him. “I’ll be back in time for dinner, alright? I trust you can look after yourself until then.”

“Of course, sir.” Angus saluted him as he walked past. Taako gave Kravitz’s butt a quick slap, which made the other man practically fly out the door. The door opened to the firey hellscape and Kravitz disappeared through it, the door slamming shut behind him. Taako leaned back in his chair. He was going to like living here.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite not needing to clean much of anything, Taako still took it upon himself to explore every inch of the castle. He wanted to know more about his enigmatic host, after all. Angus trailed after him, protesting every step of the way.

“Sir, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” Angus said, wringing his hands. “Kravitz always gets mad when I go snooping everywhere.”

“But you are a snooper, right?”

“Well, I mean, I like knowing things...” Angus began fidgeting. “I wouldn’t call it snooping. That makes it sound bad.”

“My man,” Taako put his hands on Angus’ shoulders. “I am a fucking expert in snooping. Around me, you don’t have to be ashamed.” Angus looked up at him curiously.

“You don’t know the meaning of shame, do you, sir?” He asked, smiling ever so slightly.

“Yeah, definitely not.” Taako turned away. He hadn’t fully explored the balconies yet. He made his way towards one of the doors that led outside, pulling it open and taking in the fresh air. The wind whipped at his hair and clothing, threatening to blow off his hat. Lup had always called the hat ugly, which made Taako want to wear it even more. It was sure better than her stupid clown umbrella in any case.

“Sir! Be careful!” Angus said. “You’ll lose your hat!”

“Thanks, pumpkin.” Taako disappeared inside for a moment, depositing the hat downstairs before coming back out. “Alright. Let’s do this.” He walked along the railing, trailing his fingers on the iron railing. The view was breathtaking, he had to admit that much. The mists had disappeared, giving the both of them a marvelous view of the rolling hills of the Wastes. Even if this was the place the Witches of Wonderland resided, it was lovely.

“Man, this is way nicer than seeing a brick wall every morning.” Taako said.

“Sometimes I wake up to a brick wall.” Angus said. “Our cover houses are in cities.”

“Whose idea was Greg the Juicy Wizard anyway?” Taako snickered. It sounded like some lame character he’d come up with when he was drunk.

“Kravitz did, sir. He, um, he might’ve been a little drunk when he did that.” Angus said, sounding rather sheepish. “It was his birthday and Raven had gotten out some good wine, and then someone knocked on the door and, well, it all sort of went downhill from there.” He paused to allow Taako to lean against the railing and hoot with laughter. “People say they don’t take him seriously, but everyone trusts us.”

“Well, I guess his work speaks for itself.” Taako bit his lip to try and stop laughing. Greg the Juicy Wizard. He just couldn’t get over that. Lup would absolutely die if she heard this. He had to tell her about it when he got back. If he got back.

“Oh! We’re getting close to Star Lake!” Angus leaned on the railing. “We always do our laundry there!”

“Guess we’re doing laundry soon then.” Taako sighed. He hated doing laundry, but it had to be done. He guessed Kravitz usually did the laundry, but the other wizard wasn’t there at the moment. He groaned, leaning on the railing as well. He didn’t want to have to be a responsible adult for this child. Suddenly he noticed there was something stuck in a niche in the castle’s exterior. It looked like a stick.

“What’s that?” Angus peered over Taako’s shoulder.

“Gimme a hand here, would you?” Taako said, grabbing part of the stick. He lifted Angus up to grab the back, and together they leveraged the stick upwards, revealing what was on the other end.

“Hey! It’s the scarecrow guy!” Taako propped the scarecrow up against the railing. “What’s up, big guy? Did you follow me all the way out here?” The scarecrow hopped up and down excitedly.

“You know him?” Angus asked.

“Hell yeah! Woody here helped me find this place!” Taako slapped the scarecrow’s back. It bounced a few more times, seemingly slightly irritated by the nickname.

“I think his name is Magnus.” Angus said, inspecting the scarecrow.

“W-Why do you say that?” Taako hated how his voice wavered. This thing couldn’t be Magnus. It couldn’t be. If...If Magnus had been cursed too....He was going to kill those creepy siblings.

“Well, it’s carved into his arm, sir.” Angus pointed to the scarecrow’s right arm. Taako immediately relaxed, inspecting the signature. Yep, that was Magnus’ carving alright. So this wasn’t Magnus, just his handiwork. Magnus must have carved the scarecrow while he was in the Wastes.

“Sir, are you alright?” Angus asked. “You reacted rather strangely.”

“Don’t worry your little head, bubele.” Taako ruffled the boy’s hair, earning an irritated whine from Angus. “Still, let’s call ‘em Mags. You good with that?” The scarecrow hopped up and down excitedly.

“I think he likes it.” Angus said.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Taako snorted. “Wonder why he followed me all the way out here.”

“I’d assume he took a liking to you.” Angus said. “What I want to know is why he led you to the Castle.”

“Well, I asked nicely so that’s gotta count for something.”

“I guess.” Angus screwed his face up in thought, playing with Mags’ cape. “Oh! We’re almost to the lake! I have to go get to laundry!” He let go of the cape, scrambling inside to find the laundry basket. Taako laughed.

“Meet us downstairs, big guy.” He said, slapping Mags’ back. “You can help us hang this shit up.” Mags bounced twice and hopped to the ground. The castle stopped just short of the lake, various pipes releasing steam and settling down. A few minutes later, Angus came stumbling out with a large basket of laundry.

“You always wash your clothes in this lake?” Taako asked, rolling up his sleeves. Angus nodded, starting to dunk a shirt in the water.

“Not always in this specific lake, but always in whatever lake we can find.” He explained. “Star Lake is my favorite, though. It’s always really pretty here.”

“Yeah.” Taako knelt beside him, taking a shirt and beginning to dunk it as well. Since it was black, he assumed it was Kravitz’s.

“Are all his clothes black?” He asked. Angus opened his mouth, frowned, then closed it and nodded. Taako let out a sharp, barking laugh. Together, the two of them were able to get through the laundry by the end of the day. Normally, Taako didn’t like doing laundry,  but he didn’t mind it so much this time. Angus was a nice person to be around with his enthusiasm and curious nature. He reminded Taako of someone whose name was just out of his reach.

“So, tell me about Kravitz.” Taako leaned in to rest his head against Angus’. “You’ve gotta know some shit about tall, dark, and mysterious.”

“Well, I do know some stuff.” Angus shrugged a little.

“Soooo~ Tell me some stuff~” Taako leaned closer.

“He turns into a skeleton when he’s angry.” Angus said. “I saw him spit fire once too. It was cool, but also pretty terrifying.”

“Wait wait, he turns into a skeleton?” Taako pulled back, eyes widened.

“Oh yeah. It’s crazy.” Angus said, never once stopping in the washing. “Apparently he has some connection to the Raven Queen. He’s got a tattoo and everything.”

“Wait, like that freaky death goddess lady?”

“SAY THAT AGAIN AND I BURN YOUR FOOD!” Raven shouted from inside.

“I think she’s an offshoot of the Raven Queen.” Angus whispered, starting to pin the laundry up on the string they’d strung up with Mags’ help. “You _really_ don’t want to piss her off. She and Kravitz had a fight once, and we didn’t have hot water or cooked food for a week.”

“Hachi machi.” Taako whistled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Will you really, sir?” Angus looked back at him. Taako shrugged.

“Probably not.”

“I thought so.”

Taako went to bed happy that night. Even if he was still cursed, he liked it in the castle. He liked Angus and he liked Kravitz. He was getting what he finally wanted.

Meanwhile, Kravitz wasn’t haven’t nearly as good a time. He flew over a fiery war zone, so close his feathers were almost singed. Above him, airships were deploying bombs and, worst of all, other wizards. Seeing them always disturbed him. They’d given up their human forms in service of the king, twisting themselves into abominations in order to fight more effectively. They barely resembled anything remotely person-shaped. They reminded him of his siblings’ servants, black blobs with too many teeth and gaudy masks. He tried to stay out of sight, but was soon seen. As soon as they spotted him, they dove in to attack. He imagined they didn’t even know who they were attacking anymore. Dispatching them was....difficult. There were more of them than there usually were, causing him to expend more of his magic than he’d planned. When he finally stumbled back to the castle, he was almost too tired to force his form back to normal. He collapsed onto the chair pulled up to the fire, propping his feet up on the hearth. Feathers covered most of his body, and his feet were bird talons. He let out a low grunt, his form slowly returning to normal. His talons merged to form fine shoes, the feathers receding to reveal his skin, hair, and suit. He was left breathing heavily.

“It’s getting harder for you to turn back.” Raven said, her face flickering in the flames. “If you keep this up, someday you might not be able to go back.”

“You think I might end up like the others.” Kravitz said, refusing to open his eyes.

“Well, I mean, it’s a legitimate concern.” She said.

“I’ll be fine.” He assured her, hoisting himself to his feet. He winced at the effort expended. As he headed upstairs, he paused beside Taako’s bed. The elf looked so beautiful, illuminated by the firelight. Kravitz stroked the side of Taako’s face, smiling fondly down at him. He’d found Taako enchanting from the moment he’d laid eyes on him, and still did, even with the curse.

“You’ve really got it bad, huh?” Raven said.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Kravitz quickly withdrew his hand, flouncing his cape. Raven snickered as Kravitz disappeared up the stairs. She’d seen Kravitz fall for men before, but never anyone quite like Taako. She turned her gaze back to the elf.

“What an interesting little creature you are.” She murmured. “I can’t wait to see how this ends.”


	4. Chapter 4

Taako woke up to Angus shaking his shoulder. The boy was surprisingly persistent, continuing to shake Taako even after the elf had burrowed even further into his little blanket cocoon. 

“Sir? Sir, please get up.” Angus said. “I know you’re awake. It’s shopping time. We need more food.”

“‘M not. ‘S sleepy time, pumpkin.” Taako said. “Go back to bed.”

“We need food for breakfast. I’m not afraid to pour cold water on you, sir.” 

Taako opened one eye. Angus stared back at him, a bucket at his side. The bucket was not filled, but Taako knew the boy wouldn’t hesitate to do so if he didn’t get up. Angus pushed his glasses up his nose, holding Taako’s gaze. 

“I won’t hesitate, sir.”

“Geez, kid.” Taako groaned, throwing the covers off. “You’re stone cold. Anyone ever tell you you’re too serious for your age?”

“I’m the ten year old apprentice of one of the world’s most feared wizards. I have to be serious.” Angus set the bucket down by the sink. Taako yawned and started changing, unphased by the presence of a small child. 

“Sir?” Angus frowned a little at this. “Don’t you want to change privately?”

“Nope.” Taako said, shimmying out of his night clothes and into his wizardly regalia. Angus just sort of stood there, letting Taako do his thing. At this point, he knew better than to question what anyone he knew did. His boss turned into a skeleton when he was angry, this was nothing. The boy sighed and got his cloak. 

“Do you always do this?” Angus asked once Taako was done. 

“Eh, yeah.” Taako shrugged and adjusted his hat. “When you get to be as old as I am, you stop caring about nudity.” Taako had never really cared about the way his body looked. He loved ever stretch mark, every scar, every freckle, because they made him different, they made him  _ himself _ . And now they were gone. He’d checked out his body a little more the other night, and so many of the things that he loved about himself were just...gone. It made him hate those damn witches even more. 

“If you say so, sir.” Angus switched the door to the gold switch and opened it. Taako peered out, squinting in the bright sunlight. 

“So this is, like, Goldcliff?” He asked. Angus nodded, taking a list out of his pocket and setting off down the street. Kid could move fast too. 

“Hey! Slow down, Ango!” Taako yelled, scrambling after him. 

“I’m sorry, sir, but this is important.” Angus said. “We need to have food in the house. Kravitz is too busy to do grocery shopping, so if we run out of food we’re out until I can get some.” He never stopped moving, even for a second.

“Kiddo, you need to calm down.” Taako said. “We’ll get the food and all that shit. Just calm your tit my man.” Angus frowned a little at this, but slowed down. Taako yawned, his ears twitching as he took in the scene. Goldcliff was pretty ritzy. The streets were cleaner, the buildings shiner, the people dressed better. Taako felt suddenly rather self-conscious. He wasn’t nearly as glamorous or as flashy as the other people walking the streets. A few of the people they passed greeted Angus by name. 

“You know a lot people here.” Taako said, patting Angus’ head. “Regular little social butterfly, aren’tcha?”

“When Kravitz isn’t around I tutor the other kids here.” Angus pushed his glasses up his nose. “Here and in Neverwinter. But in Neverwinter, Mookie always tries to make me wrestle him.”

“What the Hell kind of name is Mookie?”  Taako snorted. 

“A dwarf name.” Angus said. “And Mookie’s name. He’s pretty nice, even if he does kind of try to strangle me. Mavis says it means he likes me.” 

“Y’know, I have a friend whose kids have the exact same names.” Taako tapped his umbrella on the ground. “I haven’t seen him in forever though.”

“Maybe you should see him again.” Angus pulled out his list. “Oh! We need some potatoes!” He immediately dragged Taako over to a small food shop. Taako tried to pretend he was irritated by this, but he found himself rather enjoying the outing. It was nice, being out with Angus. He got some good potion bottles to color his hair, managed to pick out some ingredients for future meals. He even got to haggle some of the shop owners who tried to swindle Angus. 

“This fish looks good.” Angus said, looking over a large catch presented front and center in the shopkeeper’s stall. “How much?”

“60 gold pieces.” The shopkeeper said. Angus frowned, about to comment that the price seemed a bit high, but Taako stepped in first. 

“That’s a whole lotta money to be asking for one fish, my dude.” Taako smiled disarmingly. Angus had a very bad feeling about where this was headed. 

“Well, it’s my best catch of the day.” The shopkeeper said. 

“I mean, it’s a decent looking fish, but it’s not worth 60 gold pieces, my dude.” Taako leaned on his umbrella, smiling disarmingly. 

“Sir, I can take care of myself.” Angus whispered. 

“Sssh. Not now.” Taako patted his head. “Taako’s trying to cut a bitch.” Angus sighed and resigned himself to watching this unfold. 

“Look, I’ve got a business to run.” The shopkeeper said. “I gotta make a profit.”

“I understand that, my dude, but the fish just isn’t worth 60 gold pieces.” Taako folded his arms. “And I know for a fact that you sold the same kinda fish to another lady for 20 gold pieces. So you’re obviously trying to swindle this poor kiddo.” The shopkeeper tensed up. Taako smiled innocently, twirling a piece of his hair. Angus’ eyes widened. 

“Savage.” He whispered. 

“Fine. 20 gold pieces.” The shopkeeper muttered, folding his arms. “Nothing less than that.”

“You got a deal, my man.” Taako gestured for Angus to pay the man. The boy did, and the two of them walked away. 

“Where did you learn to do that?” Angus asked, staring up at Taako with wide eyes. 

“Well,” Taako said, basking in the admiration. “Lup and I lived on our own for a long time, and people tend to underestimate little kids. We learned to haggle to conserve the little money we had. Works a little less well in the foodservice industry, though.”

“Still, that was pretty cool.” Angus said. 

“Thanks, pumpkin.” Taako ruffled Angus’ hair. “Keep up the praise and I might even teach ya how to do it yourself.”

“You mean it?” 

“I do.”

Their attention was quickly taken off the haggling situation though, as a commotion drew them to investigate. A crowd had gathered by the docks to see a battleship returning to port. Fire and smoke billowed up from its battered hull. Sailors were jumping out, desperately swimming for the rescue boats that had come to assist. Taako’s good mood quickly faded. He knew now that the palace was demanded Kravitz’s presence, and he expected that his host would go eventually. He didn’t know what would happen then. Kravitz would become a tool of the state, probably, and might even turn himself into a monster to serve the king. It was then that he noticed something in the crowd. While Angus watched the battleship, Taako drew back a little to find out what was behind him. There, at the edge of the crowd, stood two of the Witches’ servants. The strange, blobby creatures dressed in the fashions that normally would have made Taako squeal. Taako grabbed Angus’ arm. 

“Ango, we gotta go.” He hissed, beginning to drag the boy back towards the castle door. 

“Wha- Why?” Angus looked disappointed. 

“Itch-way ervants-say.” Taako said. “So we gotta go. Now.” Angus frowned, then realized Taako was saying and quickly followed. Luckily, the Witches’ servants didn’t notice them, or were blocked by the crowd. They got home safely, with the food in tow. 

 

Kravitz was not a vain man. He had never cared much about his appearance. But right now his hair was electric green and he did not like that. Why, in the name of all that was good, was his hair green? This had never happened before. In an instant, he remembered. Taako. That little elf had been banging around in the upper floors all day! Kravitz slammed the bathroom door open and stomped downstairs. 

“Taako!” He growled. Taako looked up from the stove, where he was making breakfast. Angus stood next to him, taking diligent notes. 

“Hey bone daddy!” Taako smiled, which quickly turned into a grimace. “Yikes. Green is not your color.” That nickname was new. Angus must have told Taako about Kravitz’s skeleton form. 

“Yes, I’m aware. Why is my hair green?” Kravitz demanded, pointing at his hair. “What did you do to the bathroom?!” Shadows rose up from the floor, tangling around Kravitz’s legs and the furniture. Angus got a little nervous, shrinking back from the wizard, whose form was looking more and more skeletal. Taako remained unphased. 

“I just added a few potion bottles.” He said. 

“WHY?!”

“Cause I’m using that bathroom too, homie.” Taako said, putting his hands on his hips. “If I’m gonna be seen on your arm, I’ve gotta look good.”

“Taako likes coloring his hair sometimes, sir.” Angus piped up. “I helped him pick out the potions bottles myself. My disguises are getting a lot better!”

“Well, do you know how to fix this, Taako?” Kravitz prayed to the Raven Queen that the answer was yes. He couldn’t do his job looking like this. He had a reputation to uphold, after all. He couldn’t go around looking like a radioactive plant. Taako nodded, going back to finishing up the meal. 

“Yeah, just let me finish this up. I know I bought a removal potion too.” He dished the food onto plates and went upstairs to find the removal potion. The whole time he was gone, Kravitz just stared into the fire, trying his best not to freak out too much. Taako was his guest and he knew it would be bad to have a temper tantrum in front of a guest. Especially one as sharp tongued as Taako. 

“You’re overreacting.” Raven said, her features flickering in the flames. “It’s not that bad.” 

“Please don’t try to sugercoat this.” Kravitz muttered, head in his hands. “This is exactly as bad as I think it is. I look ridiculous!” The shadows at his feet whipped around. His teeth looked a tad bit sharper. Angus, meanwhile, had started eating breakfast. Taako’s cooking was too good to just let sit out. He kept an eye on his master, ready to step in if things got too out of hand. So far it didn’t seem as though Kravitz was going to have a complete meltdown. That was good. The house couldn’t withstand another one of those. A few minutes later, Taako appeared at the top of the stairs with a glass bottle. 

“Kay. I’ve got it.” He said, handing it to Kravitz. “Don’t use too much, or it’ll strip all the magic outta you.” Kravitz mumbled a word of thanks and went to wash out his hair. When he returned, his hair was darker than it had previously been, but an acceptable shade of dark brown that didn’t make him look like some kind of plant hybrid. 

“Better now?” Taako asked.

“Yes, thank you.” Kravitz took a deep breath. “I apologize for losing my cool. I just have a reputation to maintain.”

“Chill homie, I got you.” Taako shrugged and sat down at the table. “Trust me, I know all about reputations.” There was a sort of quiet resignation to the way he said that, and it made Kravitz immediately feel guilty for losing his temper. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I said it was fine.” Taako said. “Anyway, glad you’re feeling better. I know I’m certainly enjoying the view.” It was then that Kravitz realized that this whole time, he’d just been wearing a towel around his waist. He immediately went bright red and ran upstairs to put his clothes back on. 

“That went better than I thought it would.” Angus said. 

“What did you think was going to happen?” Taako asked, sitting down opposite the boy. 

“Well, one time, I accidentally forgot a potion I was practicing in the bathroom, and it burned off all his hair, and the whole castle practically exploded.” Angus explained. “It wasn’t pretty. I felt really bad.”

“Yikes.” Taako said. “Glad I wasn’t there.”

“Yeah, it was pretty bad.” Angus nodded and poked at his food. “He must really like you, though. He was showing a lot of restraint.” Taako raised an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean, kiddo?”

“I mean, he was trying not to have a meltdown.” Angus said, spooning some more of the food into his mouth. “So he must really like you, because he doesn’t usually control his emotions like that when it comes to his appearance.”

“Huh.” Taako couldn’t help but smile to himself. Kravitz liked him, huh? The thought made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, although he didn’t know why. Maybe he did have a chance after all. Angus noticed Taako’s smile, and grinned to himself. He was definitely going to matchmake them. 


	5. Chapter 5

Once Angus was sure Kravitz had calmed down, he sent Taako up to his room with some tea. Taako was more than glad to go up if it meant he got another look at Kravitz without his clothes on. Unfortunately for him, the other wizard had already gotten dressed again. Not that Taako could tell. Kravitz was currently a lump under the blankets of his bed. Taako took a moment to take in Kravitz’s inner sanctum. The room was, surprisingly, rather messy. Spell tomes and magical artefacts cluttered every surface, as well as various actual ravens. The ravens turned to look at Taako, tilting their heads curiously. 

“You never told me you had pets, homie.” Taako said, closing the door with his hip. 

“They’re not pets.” The lump that was Kravitz mumbled. “They’re magical constructs. Familiars at least.” He snapped his fingers and the ravens turned into balls of light, zipping towards the covers and vanishing into the cloth. 

“Well, they’re nice constructs.” Taako shrugged and pulled up a chair next to Kravitz’s bed. “Ango told me to bring you some tea and shit.”

“I don’t want tea.”

“I’ve got little cookies~”

There was a moment of silence, then Kravitz poked his head out from under the blanket, his dreads falling in his face. It was surprisingly endearing. Taako tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach, grinning and holding out the tea tray, the little cookies arranged artfully on a plate. Kravitz took a few, shoved them in his mouth, then disappeared back under the blanket. Taako rolled his eyes and put the tray on Kravitz’s bedside table. 

“Alright, fine. Don’t drink the tea the little ten-year-old boy made for you.” He said. “I’m sure he totally won’t be crushed.”

“You’re cruel.” Kravitz reappeared. He took a moment to tidy his appearance, tying his hair back with a ribbon before taking the tea and sipping daintily at it. How did a man this adorable even exist? Taako had to change the subject somehow, get his mind off this.

“So.” Taako leaned back in his chair. “You got a lotta summons from the palace, huh?” Nailed it. 

“Don’t remind me.” Kravitz groaned. “I’ll have to answer one sooner or later.” He stared into his teacup, sighing heavily. 

“I don’t see what the big deal is.” Taako said. “Just go tell the king to screw himself. You don’t want to fight in the war, right?”

“No, but I signed a contract.” Kravitz pointed to a piece of paper pinned to the wall. It was hung up rather respectfully but had more than a few darts stuck in it. 

“Doesn’t look like you respect it much, homie.” Taako said. 

“Still, I made an agreement in order to get my license. If I refuse to honour the agreement, I’ll be stripped of my credentials and won’t be allowed to work as a wizard anymore. Angus depends on me. I can’t simply abandon my duties and livelihood while I have him to take care of.” Taako wrinkled his nose. So this was what a being a professional wizard was like. He was starting to feel glad he’d become a chef instead. 

“My dude,” Taako slipped an arm around Kravitz. “Nothing good ever comes from bureaucracy.” Kravitz stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. Taako frowned, pulling back. 

“What? What’s so funny?”

“You really are something, aren’t you?” Kravitz wiped a tear away from his eye. “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone quite like you, Taako.” 

“Well, shit.” Taako shrugged his shoulders a little. “You’re gonna make me blush.”

“I’m serious.” Kravitz put his teacup down and took Taako’s hands in his. “You’re so brave. You came here despite all the rumours, despite knowing  _ they _ likely want you dead for your association with me. Nothing ever seems to phase you. I’ve been a terrible host, and yet you’ve stayed all the same.” 

“You’re probably pretty brave too. Big hotshot wizard and all.” Taako backed up a bit at the sudden contact, a little put off. He did not sign up for emotion. Yeah, he definitely wanted to fuck this guy, but emotions? Nah man, he didn’t sign up for that. Kravitz let go of Taako’s hands, his shoulders slumping. 

“I’m a coward.” He said, smiling sadly. “I ran from my siblings when they started going down the wrong path instead of trying to fix things. I refuse to go to war because I’m afraid of what will happen to me if I do. I’m sorry excuse for a wizard. I’m sure you’d do a far better job of it.”

“Look,” Taako scratched the back of his head nervously. “Fear’s a natural thing, my man. Being afraid isn’t something to be ashamed of. But you can’t let it control your life. That’s what Lup and I learned when we were little.”

“You and your sister are very wise, then.” Gods dammit. Why did he have to have such a sweet and genuine smile?! It was making Taako have little butterflies in his stomach. 

“Geez, any more talk like that and I’ll start expecting you to propose.” Taako laughed nervously.

“That’s it!” Kravitz suddenly grabbed Taako’s hands again. “You can go in my place! Say you’re my husband and that you need me here!”

“Say I’m your- Excuse me?!” Taako sputtered. “You want me to pretend to be your husband so you can get out of fighting?!”

“Please?” Kravitz said, bringing his face closer to Taako’s. “I can’t just leave Angus by himself. He needs me here. If I die there will be no one to look after him.” 

“Kid’s pretty independent. I think he can take care of himself.” Taako muttered, convincing absolutely no one. 

“Please, Taako.” Kravitz leaned even closer, so close their faces were almost touching. “You’re the only one I can count on for this.” Taako’s breath caught in his throat. Dammit. Taako sighed. 

“Okay. Fine.” He said. “I’ll do it.”

“Thank you so much.” Kravitz smiled at him and Taako’s heart did the weird skip a beat thing. He grumbled and looked away. 

“If we’re gonna be married, you should at least give me a ring or something.” 

“Right! Of course!” Kravitz let go of Taako’s hands, the elf letting out a sigh of relief, and opened a drawer in his bedside table. He pulled out a jewellery box, rummaging around in it for a little before pulling out a ring. It was silver, with a simple blue gem in the middle of it and elaborate carvings going all around it. 

“It matches your lipstick.” Kravitz said, slipping it onto Taako’s finger. The ring was a perfect fit, almost like magic. Taako figured it must have an enchantment on it. Taako held his hand up, examining the ring. 

“Mm. Not bad.” He said. 

“It’s not the best one I have, but it’s the only one that will be able to keep you safe.” Kravitz retrieved a duplicate from the box, slipping it onto his own finger. 

“Keep me safe?” Taako raised an eyebrow. “Going to the palace isn’t going to be  _ that  _ dangerous, right?”

Kravitz’s expression darkened. “I’m afraid it very well might be. But this ring will always lead you back to me.”

“Geez, it really is like we’re married.” Taako laughed nervously. 

“I-I think it’s a bit soon for that.” Kravitz said quickly. “But...I do like you Taako. Quite a bit.” Taako just stared at him, his heart beginning to pound. Oh, gods. They were going to have  _ that _ talk. Taako licked his lips. Why did his mouth suddenly feel so dry? 

“Look, Krav, my dude,” he began, desperately trying to string some kind of explanation. 

“Do you not feel the same way?” Kravitz asked, looking rather dejected. Oh no, not that look! He looked like some kind of kicked puppy when he did that. 

“Well, I mean, why settle for me?” Taako forced himself to smile, spreading his hands out at his sides. “You’re a gorgeous guy, I’m sure you can do way better than some loser baker from New Elfington.”

“You shouldn’t say that about yourself, Taako.” Kravitz said. “Very few people would have had the courage to come here by themselves.” 

“I needed to get a curse reversed because I was an idiot who mouthed off to the Witches of Wonderland.” Taako shrugged slightly, folding his arms. He’d always been an idiot, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, pissing off everyone around him.

“You weren’t afraid of them. You went up against some of the most terrifying necromancers in the world and you weren’t afraid.” Kravitz insisted. 

“You’re giving me too much credit, my dude.” Taako shook his head. “I didn’t know who they were at first. Can’t be afraid if you don’t know who they are.” They were quiet for a few moments before Kravitz suddenly looked Taako in the eye and asked,

“Taako, what happened to you?”

“What do you mean?” Taako reflexively recoiled at the question. 

“What happened to you?” Kravitz repeated. “Because this level of self-loathing has to come from somewhere.”

“None of your business.” Taako muttered, sinking back into his chair. “Why do you even care, anyway? You barely know me.”

“Yes, I know.” Kravitz nodded. “But I want to help you. You’ve agreed to help me, and you deserve to be happy, Taako.” 

“I don’t deserve anything.” Taako stood up, going to the door. “I’m gonna leave the tray in here. You can bring it downstairs later.” And then he was gone, leaving Kravitz alone with his thoughts. 

“Not a word.” He said, giving the fireplace in the corner a withering look. For a moment, Raven’s face appeared in the flames, looking disapproving. Then she too vanished. 


	6. Chapter 6

Taako magicked himself up a very nice dress before leaving for the palace. Angus knew better than to ask why Taako was in such a foul mood after he left Kravitz’s room, so he just provided his input on Taako’s outfit. He’d have to have a talk with Kravitz later about how to properly court the elf. Taako decided on a purple dress with black stockings and black knee high boots. He debated on whether or not to wear both seafoam gloves, eventually landing on just one glove and a bracelet, with some gold earrings. He made sure to put on a fresh coat of lipstick and brushed his hair thoroughly. By the time he’d gotten ready, Angus deemed it safe to ask what had happened. 

“Did you and Kravitz have a fight?” He asked. 

“Don’t worry your little head about it.” Taako said, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Everything’s fine.”

“Please don’t patronize me, sir.” Angus said. 

“Geez, Ango.” Taako huffed and folded his arms. “I wasn’t trying to patronize  you. I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

“ _ Did _ you two fight?” Angus leaned in a bit closer, putting on his best puppy eyes. Taako tried to hold out, but it didn’t last for too terribly long. 

“Okay, fine. Maybe we did.” Taako admitted. “He was being nosy.”

“You’re nosy.”

“It’s different when _ I _ do it!”

Angus just sighed. This was going to be more difficult than he’d thought. He should have known matchmaking wouldn’t be easy when it came to two people with such deep seated issues. He’d have to consult Raven later about this. 

“Maybe you two should talk this out when you get back.” He suggested. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Taako waved his umbrella dismissively, going to the door. Angus tried not to sigh louder. So that was a maybe on talking things out.

“I’ll follow you in disguise!” Kravitz yelled from upstairs. 

“I can do this by myself!” Taako yelled back, slamming the door behind him. The little elf stormed out of the house, causing many Neverwinter residents to begin whispering. 

“Looks like he’s at it again.”

“Poor boy.”

“Real heartbreaker that Jenkins.”

Taako glared at anyone who dared look at him. They had no right to judge him! In addition, the whisperings ignited a small spark of worry and insecurity. It sounded as though he wasn’t the first to go into Kravitz’s castle. The wizard had talked about how brave Taako was for coming to the castle, despite all the rumors, but apparently Taako wasn’t the first to show up. All that talk had just been pretty words, meant to lure him in. Those words hadn’t meant a thing. Once the crowds had dispersed, he gathered together his dignity and made for the palace. He held himself as tall as he possibly could, determined to make everyone think he belonged there. He was Taako from TV goddamit! He held his head high and made his way towards the gates. 

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” A guard asked, stopping him.

“Inside.” Taako said, turning up his nose. “I have to talk to the king.”

“Yeah, not without an invitation you don’t.” The other guard pointed his halberd at Taako. “So either produce your fucking invitation, or leave.” Taako’s face burned. He had an invitation, yes, but he’d thought he’d dressed up enough that no one would question his presence. And he didn’t want to just say outright that he was Kravitz’s husband. 

“Hey, guys, I’ve got this.” Someone pushed the guards aside. “I can vouch for him.”

“Of course, sir.” The guards resumed their positions, letting Taako get a good look at his rescuer. 

“Merle fucking Highchurch!” Taako’s face lit up. “What are you doing here?!” Never in a million years had Taako expected to find Merle Hightower Highchurch at the fucking palace. Merle wasn’t exactly the sort of person who normally associated with anything resembling royalty.

“Well, what are  _ you _ doing here?” Merle laughed, slapping Taako’s back. “Oh, how’s your sister?”

“Yeah yeah, she’s rad natch and all that.” Taako waved a hand dismissively. “Seriously, how’d you get a job here?”

“I’m banging the king.” Merle said, as if it was no big deal. 

“You- What?!” Taako started laughing. “Seriously? You’re fucking the  **king** ?!”

“Yep. My official title is ‘Royal Consort’.” Merle said with a big smile. “I’m in charge of greeting people and shit. Might get a promotion if our relationship gets more serious. John’s not really sure he wants commitment, though.”

“Merle Highchurch, Royal Fucking Consort. You really moved up in the world, my man.” Taako said. He felt a small pang of jealousy. Merle was fucking the king. That was a big step up from being a washed up former preacher in a little beach town. Was everyone in his life moving up without him?

“Yeah, well, stuff happens.” Merle shrugged a little. “Anyway, you’re here for an audience, right?”

“Sure am.” Taako decided to leave out the part about Kravitz for now. Probably better to bring it up once he was away from Merle. After all, Merle had a personal connection to the king and a reason to get Kravitz to come in.

“C’mon.” Merle began to walk, gesturing for Taako to follow. Taako fell into step behind him. As they walked, a palanquin pulled up next to them. Judging from the blobby servants, Taako was pretty sure he knew who’d shown up. Sure enough, a curtain was pulled back and the faces of Edward and Lydia appeared. 

“Fancy seeing you here.” Lydia purred. “Have you been enjoying your time with Keetz?”

“Fuck off.” Taako said, walking faster. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Not you two again.” Merle sisghed. “I’ve told you, he’s not coming.”

“Oh, we’re not interested in our dear brother right now.” Edward said. “The elf has been sent as his emissary, after all.” Merle frowned, looking to Taako. 

“You’re Kravitz’s emissary.”

“Yep.”

“You’ve been living with him?” 

“Yep.”

“Have you laid with him?” Lydia cooed. “Have you felt his skin on yours? Kissed him until you were both raw?”

“None of your business!” Taako snapped. 

“Not yet then.” Edward sighed. “What a pity. You two seem good for each other.”

“I said it’s none of your business!” Taako pointed his umbrella at the palanquin, firing a magic missile off at it. The palanquin burst into flames, but Edward and Lydia floated out of the wreckage, smiling calmly. 

“You know them?” Merle whispered. 

“They did stuff to me.” Taako said through gritted teeth. 

“Curse stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“Well great.” Merle sighed and shook his head. “Come on, you two. All three of you were called here by the king so you’re gonna get your audience.”

“Lovely!” Lydia clapped her hands together. 

“Splendid!” Edward echoed. 

“You two are fucking weird.” Taako muttered. Merle rolled his eyes. The three of them followed up the stairs and into the palace. Edward and Lydia were a bit out of breath after having to climb the giant set of stairs up to the palace, which made Taako smirk a little bit. 

“You’d think those two had never  _ walked _ anywhere.” Merle muttered. 

“They’re pussies.” Taako whispered back. 

“We can hear you.” Lydia gave Taako a very withering look. Yikes, he was having flashbacks to his aunt catching him with his hand in the cookie jar. They’d had to break that cookie jar because his hand had gotten stuck. Edward just gave Taako the finger. 

“Why don’t you both sit down while Taako has his audience?” Merle suggested, gesturing for the siblings to sit down in a side room. The Witches of the Wastes gave Taako and Merle some dirty looks before going off to settle in the side rooms.

“I’m not gonna have to see them again, will I?” Taako whispered as he and Merle walked away. “Because I do not want to see them the entire time I’m here.”

“Probably not.” Merle shrugged, quickly moving on to business. “Now, you won’t be meeting with John directly. He’s in the middle of a war meeting right now. You’ll be meeting with the head magical adviser.”

“What? But I want to tell the king to go fuck himself!” Taako said, stamping his umbrella on the ground. “Ah, well. I’ll just tell this guy to go fuck himself.”

“Yeah, uh, that might not be such a good idea.” Merle said. “She’ll probably rip you a new one if you try that with her. I thought you’d already know that.” Taako was about to ask how Merle he was supposed to know that, when he didn’t even know this lady. Until, that was, they entered the chamber and he beheld who exactly was seated in the adviser’s chair. His stomach lurched. 

“Lucretia?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring a cameo appearance by John Hunger!

“Taako?” Lucretia looked up from the plans she’d been going over. “What are you doing here?” 

“Um, hey ‘Cretia.” Taako smiled nervously. “How’s it going?” Oh, gods. He was going to have to lie to Lucretia. She’d see through him in an instant. She always had. 

“It’s going about as well as it can go, given that we’re at war.” Lucretia stood up, crossing the room to hug Taako. “Gods, it’s so good to see you.” She looked older than she had the last time he’d seen her. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her normally meticulously kept hair was wild and unkempt. She’d cut it, so it was less noticeable than if she’d had longer hair, but Taako could still tell. She looked as though she hadn’t slept in a few days. 

“Looks like the king’s working you pretty hard.” Taako said, trying not to sound as worried as he was. After all, he was a cool guy and cool guys didn’t get outwardly worried about their friends. 

“I’m working myself hard.” Lucretia corrected him as she returned to her seat. “His Highness keeps telling me I need to take a break, but we’re at war. I can’t take any breaks. We need to either win or come to a ceasefire. People are dying out there!” She sighed and ran a hand through her closely cropped hair. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be complaining to you. You came here for a reason, right?”

“He’s here as Kravitz’s emissary.” Merle explained. “Also, he apparently got cursed by the Witches of Wonderland. So there’s that.”

“Kravitz’s- Why are you with him?” Lucretia looked up, eyes wide. “Taako, he’s dangerous! He’s the reason the Witches of Wonderland exist in the first place!”

“I needed someone to help with my problem.” Taako said, starting to feel rather indignant. Kravitz wasn’t  _ that  _ bad. Sure, he could be a nosy bastard, and he was kind of uptight and boring, but he wasn’t a bad guy.  

“But why are you his emissary?” Lucretia asked. “Is it some kind of contract?”

“Geez, ‘Cretia, you’re asking a lot of questions, here.” Taako folded his arms. 

“Right. Sorry.” Lucretia sat back down. “I suppose this comes off more like an interrogation.” She gestured for Taako to sit down opposite her. He did so, but not before complaining about how uncomfortable the chair was. 

“So, you’re Kravitz’s emissary.” Lucretia folded her hands on her desk. “Why did he send you?”

“Because someone’s gotta make sure my gorgeous hubby doesn’t get carted off to war.” Taako said, proudly displaying his ring. Lucretia stared at him for a moment, as if waiting for him to go on. 

“Oh...You were serious.” She finally said. “You  _ actually _ got married? To  _ Macallister Kravitz _ ? How long have you even known him for?”

“For fuck’s sake, ‘Cretia, don’t you trust me?” Taako snapped. “I’m not a kid, I can make my own decisions.”

“I do trust you. It’s just...” Lucretia sighed and ran a hand through her hair again. “What do you know about Kravitz’s past, Taako?”

“I know his dumb siblings are after him because he abandoned them after a demon stole his heart or something.” Taako leaned back in his chair, arms folded. “Why?”

“He abandoned _ everyone _ , Taako.” Lucretia said. “He was the most promising candidate at the Royal Academy of Magic, but one day he just up and left. Ever since he’s been using his magic for only selfish reasons.”

“So?” Taako asked. “I use my magic for selfish reasons most of the time.”

“You’re different.” Merle said. “You didn’t take an oath to protect the kingdom like he did.”

“Not to mention, you and Lup reign each other in.” Lucretia said, trying to contain the sigh of irritation that was building. “His heartlessness makes him dangerous, Taako. If he keeps going, he’ll end up like them.” Just then, two figures were wheeled in on a cart. Taako recognized them as the Witches of Wonderland. The contagion that had previously flowed through their veins looked to be gone. Their skin was now the same shade as Kravitz’s, and their ears were far less prominent. They looked so small, huddled against one another. 

“What did you do to them?” Taako asked. 

“We had to strip them of their powers.” Lucretia’s shoulders slumped. “They were becoming a threat to the kingdom and to everyone who lives in it. They bargained with demons and now they’ve paid the price. Do you really want Kravitz to end up like them?”

“This is bullshit!” Taako sprung to his feet. “It’s an unfair choice and you know it!”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures, kiddo.” Merle said, equally grave. “I know you’re probably scared for his safety, but we need all the wizards we can muster if we’re ever going to end this war. And we do want to end it.”

“Fuck you and your boyfriend!” Taako rounded on Merle. “I’m not going to let you drag him into this! He doesn’t want to fight in your war and you need to respect that! Yes, he’s a bastard. Yes, he’s dangerous. But you know what? I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck.”

“Taako-”

“I’m not done!” Taako cut Lucretia off. “You’re abusing your fucking power and you know it! You’re just as bad as Sazed!” The room immediately went silent. Taako immediately regretted what he’d said. Comparing them to the man who’d ruined his life was a low blow and he knew it. 

“If you really feel that way, you should go.” Lucretia said, her face set in a stony mask. “Obviously, there’s nothing I can do to convince you.”

“I’m sorry, Taako.” Merle’s whole body seemed to deflate. Thankfully, a hovercraft landed outside, which distracted everyone from Taako’s less than tactful outburst. A human man descended, dressed in a smart military uniform. He looked to be in his 50’s, with neat silver hair slicked back against his head. 

“Your Highness.” Lucretia quickly stood again, inclining her head respectfully. 

“Hey, John.” Merle waved, relaxing a little at the presence of the man.

“Hello, Merle.” John’s severe expression softened at the sight of Merle, but it was quickly replaced by the severe mask of indifference. “Lucretia.”

“May I ask why you’ve graced us with your presence?” Lucretia asked. 

“I’ve been thinking about the war,” John said. “And the effect it’s having on the surrounding towns. The bombs we’re deflecting from the castle are just landing on the towns around us. The mages we’ve drafted have turned into monsters. We cannot rely on magic to win this war. We must find another way.”

“That’s...very insightful of you, your majesty.” Lucretia said after a brief pause. 

“I guess you really have been listening to me.” Merle grinned. “Glad to know you’re finally coming around, Johnny-Boy.”

“Don’t call me that.” John said without missing a beat. Merle just laughed. 

“Right. Rad.” Taako rolled his eyes and turned to John. “Look, you and I need to have a talk.” 

“Who is this?” John asked, looking over Taako’s head. 

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not even here!” Taako snapped. 

“This is Taako.” Merle explained. “He’s a friend of mine. He came here as the emissary for Kravitz. Apparently, the two of them are married.” John raised an eyebrow and looked down at Taako. 

“I...see.” He said. “Well, there’s no need for you to be here anymore. I no longer require the service of Mr Kravitz.” 

“It was nice seeing you, Taako.” Lucretia offered up a tired smile. “Merle can show you out.” Then the door opened again, revealing...John? Taako looked from one John to another, realization slowly dawning on him. It seemed the same was happening with Lucretia, who narrowed her eyes and grasped her staff. John strode into the room, looking with distaste at the John standing beside Taako.

“Lucretia, I would have hoped you’d spend your time trying to win the war, not creating useless duplicates of me.” He said coolly. 

“My apologies, your highness.” Lucretia said, refusing to take her eyes off the John at Taako’s side. “I wanted to entertain a friend of mine.”

“Don’t be too hard on her.” Merle walked over and put a hand on John’s back. “She’s had a hard few weeks. We all have. She just wanted to put on a little show for Taako. We haven’t seen him in years.” John relaxed at Merle’s touch. 

“My apologies.” He ran a hand through his hair as he turned his gaze back to Lucretia. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that.”

“It’s alright. I understand.” Lucretia assured him. “We’re all very stressed.”

“I’ll be in my room, should you need me.” John began to make his way out of the room. “Merle? Would you care to join me.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Merle exited the room with the king, taking the guard entourage with him. Once they were gone, the person beside Taako put a hand on his shoulder, pulling him close. 

“I’m sure you have some good explanation for this.” Lucretia’s voice was cold. “Don’t you, Kravitz?” Taako looked up at the man at his side, only to see Kravitz dressed in the attire of the king. The wizard smiled and shrugged. 

“I have my reasons.”

“You even had the nerve to manipulate my friend into doing your dirty work for you.” Lucretia continued, walking around the desk so that she stood before Taako and Kravitz. 

“I did no such thing!” Kravitz’s smile quickly vanished. “He came to me of his own free will.”

“I’m standing right here.” Taako said. “Seriously, ‘Cretia, I knew what I was getting into. Plus, I’m cursed! I wanna get that shit taken care of.” 

Lucretia raised her staff, levelling it at Kravitz. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to strip you of your powers now. Taako, get out of the way.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Wait, what?” Taako tried to wriggle out of Kravitz’s grasp. “Lucretia, you can’t do this!”

“He’s given me no choice, Taako.” Lucretia’s hand didn’t waver. “Now stand aside. I don’t want you caught up in this.”

“I’M ALREADY FUCKING CAUGHT UP IN IT!” Taako snapped. “For the love of the gods, I’m  _ married _ to this guy!”

“You obviously didn’t know what you were doing, Taako. Please, don’t throw your life away like this.” Lucretia pleaded. 

“I’m not abandoning him!” Taako lifted his umbra staff. “I....I love him!” Kravitz’s breath caught in his throat. He’d been hoping to hear those words from the moment he’d met Taako. He just wished it could have happened under different circumstances. 

“I love you too.” He said, kissing Taako’s head. The elf flushed and shrugged off the gesture. 

“Yeah yeah. We can talk about it later.” He muttered. 

“So that’s how it’s going to be.” Lucretia’s expression turned mournful. “I wish it didn’t have to come to this, Taako.”

“It doesn’t have to!” Taako said. “You can let us go!”

“She’s made her choice.” Kravitz said calmly. “Loyalty to king and country, until the death if it comes to that.” Taako screamed in frustration, stamping his foot. Why was everyone acting so goddamn stupid?! There was a solution to this! They could fix it! Beside them, the Witches of Wonderland had begun to stir. The second they caught sight of Kravitz the two of them scrambled forward. They were still weak, only managing to get to Taako, grabbing at his tunic. Taako hardly noticed them. All his attention went towards Lucretia. 

“I’m sorry, Taako,” Lucretia said. Water began to rush from behind her, washing over Taako, Kravitz, and the witches. 

“What the- Hey!” Taako sputtered, trying to fight back the tide. 

“Calm yourself.” Kravitz dragged Taako back, arm securely around the little elf’s shoulders. “And don’t look down.” The water began to drain away, the office they’d previously been in replaced by a bird’s eye view of the Wastes. They were in the air now, floating in the sky. Taako couldn’t help but cling to Kravitz, wincing a bit as the witches grabbed onto him. If he had closed his eyes, perhaps he could have pretended he was back in the first moment he’d met Kravitz, high above the market square. He wanted to close his eyes and just cling to Kravitz. But he wasn’t about to back down now, mostly out of pure spite. All around them, stars began to fall, exploding as they landed around the feet of the group. The fallen stars grew bodies, dancing around the group. 

“Lucretia! What is this?!” Taako yelled, clinging closer to Kravitz. Suddenly, he noticed a strange pressure on his shoulder. Looking over, he found talons clutching at his shoulder. Slowly, Taako let his gaze wander up to Kravitz’s face. Feathers were appearing on the other man’s face and neck, his teeth sharpening into fangs. 

“Snap out of it!” Taako tried to shake him, but the creature showed no signs of even knowing he was there. 

“Keetz!” The witches clinging to Taako’s pant leg cried. For a moment, Taako almost felt sorry for them. They seemed so vulnerable now. There was no time for that, though. He had to get Kravitz back to reality.

“Come on, you stupid bird man.” Taako muttered, grabbing at Kravitz’s lapels. “Wake up!” Out of the clouds, Lucretia’s silhouette appeared. She hefted her staff, ready to strike Kravitz down. Kravitz locked eyes with Lucretia and for a moment there seemed to be a flash of understanding between the two of them. Then Kravitz unfurled his wings and the group burst through the top of the greenhouse. Taako screamed and latched onto Kravitz as he flew them down to one of the hovercrafts. 

“Hang on!” Kravitz said, starting up the craft. They were in the air in moments. Below them, royal guards were assembling. Merle and John had run out of their chambers at the crashing of the glass, both in various states of undress. 

“Oh, this is just like when we were young!” Lydia laughed as Edward scrambled to stay on the craft.

“That was a close one,” Kravitz said. “I do wish you hadn’t brought those two, though.”

“They’re your family.” Taako glanced back at the witches, both of whom were jammed into the back seat of the craft. “You don’t abandon family.” A flight of hovercrafts had appeared behind them. Apparently Lucretia wasn’t going to let them go that easily.

“What were you thinking?!” Taako couldn’t help but snap, his anxiety heightened by the situation. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

“I didn’t know you cared.” Kravitz smiled softly. Nope. Nope nope nope. No emotional commitment. Abort. Abort. 

“Well, who’d break my curse if you died?” Taako avoided looking at him. The witches giggled to one another. 

“So rude,” Lydia said. “You’d think he’d be kinder.”

“You love him, don’t you?” Edward asked. 

“Shut it, both of you!” Taako turned around. “I’m not afraid to throw you off this thing!”

“You’re too kind for that.” Lydia said brightly. Taako gave her a withering look and turned his attention back to the scene before them.

“Take over steering, would you?” Kravitz said, letting go of the steering wheel. “I need to provide a distraction.”

“Wait, what?!” Taako shook his head vigorously. “Nuh uh. Taako doesn’t fly! I don’t even know how to drive, homie! This thing is gonna crash and burn!”

“Well, you’re going to have to.” Kravitz said. “I can give you about ten minutes of invisibility, use it wisely.” He stood up, preparing to ready the distraction. 

“Hang on!” Taako dragged him down again. “How the fuck am I gonna get back?”

“You know that ring I gave you?” Kravitz asked. “It’ll guide you back to the castle. Just reach out to Raven with your heart.”

“Reach out with my heart.” Taako deadpanned. 

“It’s the most natural part of magic.” Kravitz gave Taako a huge smile, then split off from the main hovercraft. The one Taako was on quickly went invisible. Taako grumbled to himself as he tried to figure out how to steer the craft. They ran into a tree, which wasn’t great, but Taako managed to stabilize the craft. Once he was sure they weren’t going to crash, he reached out for Raven. Almost immediately, the ring lit up with a blue light, pointing in the direction of the castle. 

“Very impressive.” Lydia whispered, leaning up to get a good look at the ring. 

“Where did he get a ring like that?” Edward murmured.

“Hey! Hands off the goods!” Taako swatted them back. 

“Touchy, aren’t you?” Lydia and Edward both pouted, returning to their seat in the back of the hovercraft. Taako muttered to himself, hunching down to keep going. It started raining about an hour into their trip. Taako grumbled even more as he conjured up a bubble to protect them. 

“You’re too kind,” Lydia said. 

“We would do it ourselves, but our powers seem to be gone.” Edward sighed. 

“Yeah, I know.” Taako’s shoulders slumped a bit. “I’m...I’m sorry they did that to you.” He did feel bad for them, even if they had cursed him. Magic was a part of him. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he didn’t have magic. 

“Oh no, we definitely deserved it,” Lydia said. “We’ve been rather awful, I must admit.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Taako muttered. 

“It was kind of you to bring us with you, though,” Lydia said. “Why did you do it?”

“Didn’t you hear me before? You’re both Krav’s family. You don’t abandon family.” Taako said. It suddenly struck him that he hadn’t seen Lup in a long time. He hoped she was doing alright. She knew where he was, of course. That did make him feel a little bit better. But what if something had happened to her? What if Lucretia went after her? She wouldn’t...would she? 

“Are you worried about your own sister?” Edward asked. 

“Leave her out of this.” Taako snapped. 

“We were just asking.” Lydia sounded almost hurt. “We have no powers anymore. We cannot hurt you or her.”

“You don’t need magic to hurt someone,” Taako said, his face set in a stony mask and his voice emotionless.

“Yes, that is true.” Lydia agreed. With their powers gone, the Witches of Wonderland were much more subdued. Taako almost found them to be tolerable. Almost. 

“We’re almost back.” Taako said, then something hit him. He didn’t know how to land this thing. Fucking shit, he didn’t know to land this! He started to mutter curses as they got nearer to where the castle was. 

“Oh dear. We don’t know how to land this.” Edward said. 

“Yeah, no shit!” Taako snapped, scrambling to figure out the controls. The mouth of the castle opened and Angus appeared there. 

“No, Ango! Get back!” Taako gestured for the boy to get out of the way. Angus scrambled out of the way as the hovercraft slammed into the castle, taking out a wall. Taako, Lydia, and Edward were thrown across the room. Taako immediately bounced up and grabbed Angus, holding the boy tightly. 

“Are you okay, sir?” Angus asked. 

“‘M fine,” Taako muttered. 

“....Why are you hugging me?” It wasn’t really like Taako to be this outwardly affectionate. Taako didn’t say anything, just holding Angus close. What had happened at the castle was finally catching up to him. Lucretia had tried to  _ kill  _ him. Merle was sleeping with the king. They were his enemies now. 

“Where’s Kravitz?” Angus asked, deciding to change directions. 

“Providing a distraction.” Lydia got up, dusting herself off. “My, this is a quaint little home, isn’t it?” Angus took one look at the Witches of Wonderland and screamed. Taako immediately dropped him, his hands covering his already sensitive ears. 

“WHY ARE THEY HERE?!” Angus yelled, drawing his wand.

“Why did you bring them  _ into _ the castle?!” Raven demanded, flaring up. “We’ve been trying to keep them out!” 

“Their powers are gone,” Taako said, rubbing his ears. “I couldn’t just leave them behind. They’re Krav’s family.”

“But they cursed you!” Angus said. 

“I know.” Taako just nodded, kicking at the rubble a bit. “But you don’t abandon family.” Ignoring the protests from Raven and Angus, he got to work cleaning up the rubble. 

“Gonna have to put a curtain or some shit up.” He muttered as he swept the bricks out of the gaping hole in the wall. 

“Sir...Are you sure this is a good idea?” Angus asked, walking up to give Taako a hand. “They cursed you. They’ve been looking for Kravitz for ages so they could take his heart. They’re dangerous.” 

“You don’t abandon family.” Taako repeated. “They’re all Kravitz has left.” Taako didn’t like the witches, but he didn’t want Kravitz to lose the only family he had left. They were assholes, that much was clear, but he could tell that they really cared about Kravitz. Besides, they probably had the key to undoing the curse they’d put on them. So for now, he was willing to allow them to continue existing. 

“Alright, sir.” Angus glanced back at the witches, who were huddled by the fire. “But I’m allowed to blast them if they do something bad, right?”

“You got it, pumpkin.” Taako grinned and ruffled Angus’ hair. “Show them what you’re made of.” Together, the two of them managed to push a good portion of the debris out of the hole, but the hovercraft remained stuck. They decided it was something they’d have to deal with in the morning. Angus went to bed in his room and Taako set up some mattresses on the floor for him and the witches to sleep on. Edward and Lydia put up a bit of a fuss at having to sleep on the floor, but in the end they conceded. They curled up around one another in a little pile, barely visible under their blankets. Once he was satisfied they were asleep, Taako went to bed himself. The whole day had taken a lot out of him. Part of him wished Lup were there to sleep beside him. He wanted to feel her comforting weight at his side, hear her snores. But for now, he contented himself with being alone. It would have to do.


	9. Chapter 9

Raven watched the sleeping forms of the witches and Taako. She hadn’t expected that this was what would happen when Taako returned. She’d known that Taako and Kravitz’s visit to the castle would end well...But this hadn’t been an outcome she’d anticipated.

“Geez. Krav always attracts the weirdos.” She muttered. Suddenly, the front door opened. It didn’t look as though anyone had entered, but footprints began to appear on the floor. They resembled the taloned feet of a bird. As the footprints passed by the fireplace, a ghostly image appeared. A man with feathers covering most of his body, dripping blood and shedding feathers.

“What happened to you?” Raven whispered. “You look terrible!” The figure kept moving, heedless of Raven’s voice. 

“Kravitz! Don’t you walk away from me!” Raven yelled. “We need to talk about this! What did you do to yourself?!” As Kravitz ascended the stairs, Taako’s eyes fluttered open. He looked around sleepily. 

“Krav?” He said. “Is that you?” There was no response. Taako’s gaze immediately landed on the footprints on the ground, flanked by feathers and droplets of blood. 

“Oh fuck me.” He muttered, getting to his feet and putting on a bathrobe. He made his way up the stairs, candle in hand, towards Kravitz’s room. He expected to find the other wizard sprawled out on his bed. Instead, he was greeted with a tunnel, the edges lined with the magical knickknacks the normally decorated Kravitz’s room. The air was musty and warm, a slight breeze blowing from deeper in. Taako stood in the doorway, staring into the darkness. He really didn’t want to go in there. Who knew what could be waiting for him? But he had to make sure Kravitz was alright. 

“I hate this.” He muttered as he walked in. “Krav? You in here?” There was no response as Taako delved deeper into the tunnels. The dirt felt dry under his feet. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, but Taako had never really liked getting dirty. He’d have to take a bath after this. Soon enough, Taako came to a crossroads. There were two tunnels, each going a different direction. Taako gritted his teeth. 

“Krav?” He called out again.

“Go away.” Came a voice from the left path. It was deep and distorted, but definitely Kravitz’s voice. 

“Tough shit,” Taako said, starting down that path. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy, bird boy.” As he shuffled down the tunnel, the wind became stronger. It seemed like it wasn’t wind, but a large creature breathing. Eventually, Taako reached the end of the tunnel and came face to face with a wall of feathers. He’d found the giant creature. 

“Krav?” Taako’s voice wavered. 

“Go away.” Kravitz’s distorted voice came from the creature. “There’s nothing you can do for me, little elf.”

“Not on your life!” Taako snapped. “You still need to break my curse!” The mass of feathers shifted, and a deep rumbling chuckle echoed from it. 

“That’s not the reason why you’ve stuck around.” It said, moving so that Taako was face to face with a monster. It didn’t look anything like Kravitz. The only resemblance was its voice, which even then was distorted. 

“I don’t know where you got your new look, but yikes. This is not an improvement.” Taako laughed nervously. 

“You’re no longer here because you want your curse broken.” The creature rumbled. 

“Okay, yeah, fine.” Taako shrugged slightly. “I wanna break your curse too. You’re...You’re a decent guy. You don’t deserve to be cursed.”

“And you do?” 

Taako hesitated for a moment. He wasn’t a good person. His own selfishness had driven his partner to poison and kill 40 people. He drove everyone away, in the end. Even his own sister was probably happier without him.

“I’m....I’m not a good person.” Taako’s shoulders slumped.  “If anyone deserves to be cursed, it’s me.”

“And how to do you expect to break my curse when you can’t even break your own?” The creature asked. The way it spoke sounded almost condescending. Taako’s ears twitched. If there was something he hated, it was being talked down to. The relatives he and Lup had been passed around to after the death of their aunt had always treated the twins as though they were idiots.

“I’ll figure something out,” Taako said, gritting his teeth. “I’m Taako, you know, from TV?”

“Such arrogance.” The creature sneered.

“Well, fuck you too.” 

“You cannot save me. You cannot save  _ anyone _ .” The creature flapped its wings and took off, leaving Taako alone in the tunnel.

Taako sat bolt upright on his mattress. Someone was running a bath upstairs, presumably Kravitz. Taako disentangled himself from his covers, going over to the fire. 

“Did he just get back?” He asked. 

“Yeah, and he looks bad,” Raven said. “We’re running out of time, Taako. Both of us are.”

“Well shit, I didn’t realize that,” Taako said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. 

“Don’t get smart with me!” Raven flared up, forming a column of flame. “This is serious! If he keeps going down this path we’re both going to end up monsters!” Taako stumbled back but kept his composure.

“Calm down.” He said. “I’m trying to help, remember?”

“You’re doing a shitty job,” Raven muttered, returning to her smaller form.

“Gee, you sure know how to make me feel special.” Taako rolled his eyes. “Look, you’ve been holding out on me too. You know more than you’re letting on, don’t you?”

“I’ve been completely honest with you,” Raven said.

“Lucretia said a demon ate Kravitz’s hear.” Taako leaned in close to the fire. “You’re a demon, aren’t you?”

“Are you suggesting that I ate Macallister’s heart?” Raven lifted an eyebrow. “That’s an awfully big leap to be taking, sir.”

“Tell me I’m wrong, then.” 

Raven didn’t answer, watching Taako with flickering eyes. 

“You’re a very interesting man, Taako.” She said. “You might just save us all, yet.”

 

Meanwhile, back at the castle, Lucretia was drinking. She, John, and Merle were gathered together in the war room, all three of them passing around a bottle of wine. Killian, head of the king’s guard, was reporting on the results of their expedition.

“We stormed the houses he keeps under his aliases and found nothing, sir,” Killian explained. “Just empty buildings.”

“He probably severed the doorways between those places and his castle,” Lucretia said. 

“Thank you, Mrs Fangbattle. You are dismissed.” John waved Killian out. Killian bowed and exited the war room. All three of them leaned back into their chairs, sighing in frustration. 

“How many more wizards have we lost?” John asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“I don’t have the numbers in yet, sir, but it doesn’t look good.” Lucretia took a long swig from the bottle of wine. “Our forces are dwindling.”

“This war must be won!” John slammed his fist on the table. “One way or another.”

“You shouldn’t get worked up.” Merle put a hand on John’s shoulder. “It clouds your judgement.” John looked about to snap, but one gentle look from Merle calmed him. 

“You’re right.” He said. 

“Should I withdraw our forces from the search for Kravitz?” Lucretia asked.

“No. I want him brought in.” John got up from the table. “Alive. We need him if we are to win this war.” Then he left. 

“Hand me the wine, will you?” Merle held out a hand and Lucretia passed him the bottle. This was a disaster. A complete and utter disaster. 

“I can’t believe Taako’s caught up in this,” Lucretia said, running a hand through her hair. 

“Well, this is Taako we’re talking about,” Merle said. “I’m surprised he didn’t end up in the middle of this sooner.” Lucretia sighed heavily, mostly because she knew Merle was right. Taako had a way of finding trouble, whether the people around him liked it or not. 

“Would you like some interpretive dance to make you feel better?” Merle waggled his eyebrows. Lucretia stared at him with a deadpan expression.

“You are why I drink, Merle. You specifically.”

“Oh come on, I’m not that bad.” Merle slapped her shoulder. 

“I have a wine cellar I call Merle Highchurch, and every bottle has your face on it so I know exactly whose fault it is that I’m drinking.”

“You sound just like John.”


	10. Chapter 10

Once everyone was awake, Taako, Angus, and Mags got to work trying to get the hovercraft out of the wall of the castle. Taako tied one end of the clothesline to Mags and the other to the hovercraft, sending Mags and Angus outside to pull while he pushed from the other side. 

“Alright, you ready?” He yelled. 

“Yes, sir!” Angus yelled back, while Mags just jumped up and down. 

“Okay, heave!” Taako pushed as hard as he could. Mags and Angus pulled and Raven kept the castle in place. Taako was left breathing heavily, the hovercraft still firmly lodged in place. He glowered at the offending object, giving it a swift kick. Taako did not do manual labor. This wasn’t his scene. 

“Keep trying.” Raven urged him.

“But it’s hard!” Taako whined. 

“Perhaps I could lend a hand?” Taako’s breath caught in his throat as he felt strong arms wrap around him and the solid weight of Kravitz press against his back. 

“Hello, Mr Kravitz sir!” Angus yelled from the ground. 

“Hello, Angus!” Kravitz yelled back. Taako flushed, but didn’t pull away. He liked the feeling of having Kravitz near to him. Not that he was going to admit it, though. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Taako asked. “Let’s get this damn thing out of the wall!” Kravitz chuckled, the sound making Taako’s heart skip a beat. 

“As you wish.” He said. 

“Alright, get pulling, kid!” Taako yelled to Angus. The boy nodded and, along with Mags, started pulling on the hovercraft. On the other end, Taako and Kravitz pushed with all their might. It was considerably easier to push the hovercraft out with Kravitz helping. Taako didn’t mind being so close to him either. Soon enough, the hovercraft came tumbling out of the wall. It sputtered to life, vibrating across the grass. Angus shrieked and hid behind a rock until the hovercraft came to a stop.

“You okay, Pumpkin?” Taako asked, leaning out. 

“I’m fine!” Angus’ head popped up from behind the rock. It was at that moment, that a brick crumbled out from under Taako’s feet. Taako felt his stomach drop as he began to fall. He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing to cast levitate as soon as he starting falling. He never did. Opening one eye, he looked around to see why he wasn’t falling. He found himself in Kravitz’s arms, staring up at the other wizard. 

“Are you alright?” Kravitz asked, very clearly worried. 

“Uh, y-yeah.” Taako could feel his face starting to heat up. “Thanks for the assist, homie.”

“You’re very welcome.” Kravitz smiled warmly and righted Taako. Taako dusted himself off, trying to hide how red his face was becoming. 

“Now, who wants breakfast?” Kravitz clapped his hands together. 

“It’s too early.” Lydia whined, her head appearing from the pile of blankets she and Edward were sleeping in on the floor. 

“I am hungry,” Edward admitted, his head appearing as well. 

“I got this.” Taako pushed past Kravitz as Angus clambered his way back into the castle. Kravitz smiled softly and sat down at the table to watch Taako work. Edward and Lydia exchanged a mischievous look, getting up from their makeshift bed to wrap their arms around their brother. 

“Does someone have a crush?” Lydia purred. 

“My, you have grown, little brother.” Edward laughed. Kravitz immediately went bright red and tried to push them away. 

“Both of you, shut up!” He yelled. 

“Your face does get all red around Taako.” Angus pointed out. 

“You’re all terrible!” Kravitz slammed his hands on the table. Taako laughed, trying to hide how red his own face was. He’d never hear the end of it if they found out how bad he was crushing on the big man. 

“I mean, they have a point.” Raven flickered around the frying pan. 

“Not you too!” 

“Alright losers, it’s breakfast time.” Taako set the frying pan down on the table, starting to dish out the eggs and bacon. Kravitz, who had been preparing to leave, sat back down and began to eat sulkily. His siblings sat down on either side of him, digging in quite happily. Angus watched the Witches with narrowed eyes. 

“C’mon kiddo, eat your food.” Taako ruffled his hair. 

“Yes, sir.” Angus nodded and began to eat, still keeping his eyes on the Witches. Taako rolled his eyes and sat down to eat as well. 

“Your food is superb, Taako.” Lydia cooed. 

“You’re going to make someone very happy someday,” Edward added. 

“Well duh.” Taako put his hands on his hips. “I’m a chef, y’know. Or, I was. Before y’all cursed me.” 

“Oh yes, so sorry about that,” Lydia said. 

“Very sorry.” Edward agreed. 

“You fuckers aren’t sorry at all,” Taako muttered, sitting down. 

“I’m very sorry about them.” Kravitz reached out to touch Taako’s hand. Taako grumbled, but let Kravitz hold his hand nonetheless. Edward and Lydia exchanged a look and giggled, departing from the table to sit by the fire. 

“Do you two want some time alone or...?” Angus asked, looking between the two of them. Abruptly, both men went bright red and let go of each other’s hands. Kravitz cleared his throat, trying to hide the blush creeping up in his cheeks. 

“Well, now that we’re done eating, I have an announcement to make.” He stood up. “We’re moving.” 

“Moving?” Taako cocked an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

“It means we’re going to move the castle.” Angus explained, clearing the table. “Or at least, we’ll move where the doorways let out.” 

“Exactly.” Kravitz ruffled Angus’ hair as the boy passed. 

“Great.” Taako nodded. “Take us back to New Elfington. I wanna see my sister.”

“You have a sister?” Edward and Lydia chorused together. 

“Her name’s Lup and if you curse her I will end you.” Taako said without missing a beat. Lydia and Edward just sort of looked at him and burst out laughing. Taako glowered at this, his grip on the table tightening. What right did they have to laugh at him?! They hadn’t taken his magic. He was still a threat.

“Let’s get started.” Kravitz motioned to Angus, who scrambled up the stairs. When the boy returned, he had a chalk line machine under his arm. 

“Why don’t you help me draw the circle?” Kravitz held his hand out to Taako. And like that, Taako’s anger broke. He glanced back at the witches, then grinned to Kravitz. 

“Yeah, sure.” He made a big show of letting Kravitz help him up and swaggered out of the castle through the front door. Kravitz seemed to let out a sigh of relief once they were outside, despite the fact that Edward and Lydia were watching through the hole in the wall, Angus at their side. 

“I really am sorry about them.” Kravitz said as he withdrew a thick tome from his cloak. “They’ve always been like this.”

“Don’t sweat it. Not your responsibility to be picking up after your siblings, homie.” Taako slapped his back. “Now, what do you need me to do?” 

“Give me a minute.” Kravitz opened the tome and began flipping through the pages. Finally he landed on a page and held it up for Taako to see. “We need to draw this symbol under the castle.” Taako looked over the symbol before picking up the chalk line machine and beginning to draw in the soft grass. 

“Do you need any help?” Kravitz asked. 

“Nah, I got this.” Taako called back to him. “It’s been awhile since I drew a sigil.” Taako didn’t practice magic as much anymore. It felt good to be doing it again. It almost made him feel in control. Kravitz nodded, taking a step back. He glanced up at where his siblings and Angus were watching. Then he cast a spell, providing him and Taako with a private bubble in which to talk. 

“Taako, if you don’t mind,” he began. “I’d like to know more about you.” Taako hesitated, stuttering to a start for just a moment. Then he started moving again, head bowed. 

“You want to hear the whole story?”

“I want to help you, Taako.” Kravitz closed the distance between them, taking Taako’s hands in his. “I want you to be happy.” Taako stared at him for a moment or two before pulling away, returning to drawing the sigil. 

“My ex-boyfriend poisoned 40 people and pinned it on me.” He said quietly. “So, fair warning, my track record with dating is pretty crappy.” All his bravado and posturing was gone, and he looked so impossibly small. His robes seemed ready to swallow him whole. 

“Oh, Taako, I’m so sorry-”

“I don’t need pity.” Taako interrupted him. “I deserve to be hated. I’m nothing but an awful excuse for a wizard and a cook.” 

“Taako.” Kravitz’s voice was soft as he touched Taako’s hand, drawing the elf close to his chest. Taako stiffened at first, but eventually melted into the wizard’s embrace. 

“We all make mistakes,” Kravitz said. “We all do things that we regret. You already know what my demons are.” 

“Stop talking.” Taako whispered. “Just hold me.” Kravitz nodded and did just that. They stood there for a long time, until the shouts of witches and Angus brought them back to reality. Kravitz broke the spell with a whistle and Taako separated from him to finish the sigil. 

“I’m sorry, it doesn’t look like I can take you with us.” Kravitz said to Mags once they were finished. “It’s too risky with Lucretia on our tail.” Mags jumped up in down. 

“That means he understands.” Taako explained. “But don’t worry, big guy, we’ll be back for you.” They were both quiet, but smiling, when they came back inside. Edward and Lydia exchanged a knowing look, saying nothing. 

“What took you so long, sirs?” Angus asked. “We yelled for you.”

“Just grown-up stuff, kiddo.” Taako ruffled Angus’ hair. Angus frowned, however he knew better than to ask further. 

“Alright, everyone on the table.” Kravitz instructed. Everyone scrambled onto the table as Kravitz sketched out an identical sigil on the floor. 

“Ready?” He asked Raven, lifting her out of the fireplace with a fireplace shovel. 

“You ask me that every time.” She rolled her eyes. “I always am, my dear boy.” Kravitz sighed and entered the sigil. 

“Hold on.” He said. He held his arm out, concentrating. Slowly, his feet left the floor, his hair floating in the air as though gravity had ceased to work. Raven flickered on the shovel, then shot up into the air, turning into a roaring inferno. The room around them began to shake, starting to reconfigure itself. 

“Is it just me, or is this place getting bigger?” Taako asked, peering around. Sure enough, rooms were being added on as the main room, and the house as a whole, expanded. 

“Our family is growing, so our house should follow suit.” Kravitz smiled tiredly as he touched back down on the ground and Raven returned to her smaller form. He quickly deposited her back into the fireplace before erasing the sigil. Angus hopped off the table and began inspecting everything. 

“I added on a bathroom.” Kravitz gestured under the stairs. “Edward and Lydia can take the spare bedroom upstairs.”

“What’s this room for?” Angus asked, pointing to a room opposite the stairs. 

“That,” Kravitz said with a soft smile. “Is Taako’s room.”

“You made him a special room.” Lydia laughed. 

“Oh, you do have it bad, little brother.” Edward joined his sister in laughter. Kravitz gave them a look and they scattered up the stairs to make themselves comfortable. Kravitz gestured for Taako to come over, standing at the door to the new room. Taako stared at him for a moment. Then he slid off the table and wandered over. Kravitz opened the door, revealing a perfect copy of Taako’s bedroom at home. 

“You have got to be shitting me.” Taako gasped. 

“Do you not like it?” Kravitz suddenly looked rather worried. “I can change it. I just thought-”

“No no, it’s perfect.” Taako immediately assured him. “I just....Shit, how’d you do this? It looks just like my room at home.” 

“I drew on your memories for the design,” Kravitz explained. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s amazing.” Taako couldn’t help but smile. 

“I provided a few gifts as well.” Kravitz pointed to the bed, which was adorned with packages and hat boxes. 

“Fuck yeah! Presents!” Taako’s face lit up. He ran over, starting to tear into the gifts. Inside were beautiful dresses and tunics, clothing he’d seen in shop windows but had never dreamed of wearing himself. He felt so happy he could have cried. He turned back to Kravitz and threw his arms around the taller man. 

“You are officially the best!” 

“Don’t thank me yet.” Kravitz chuckled. “I still have one more surprise.” Taako’s eyes widened. 

“You’re gonna spoil me, bone daddy.” He said. Kravitz flushed at the nickname, clearing his throat awkwardly. He moved towards the door, taking Taako by the hand. He turned the dial to green and opened it. Taako’s breath caught in his throat when he saw what was on the other side. 

“It’s my private garden.” Kravitz led Taako out into the fields of flowers. They seemed to go on forever, dotted occasionally by ponds as clear as glass. Taako had never seen anything quite as beautiful as this. It was like a painting come to life. 

“Over there is where I used to spend my summers.” Kravitz pointed over the hills to a little millhouse by a stream. “Edward and Lydia never wanted to leave the city, so I usually came here alone to study.” 

“Why...Why did you bring me here?” Taako managed to ask. 

“I thought you could use these flowers to open a flower shop.” Kravitz said, turning back to Taako. “You’d be able to provide for yourself and Angus while I’m away.”

“You’re...You’re leaving.” Taako felt his heart sink. This was the other thing he always worried about. He’d poured his heart out to this man, and now even Kravitz was going to leave him.

“Not for forever.” Kravitz took Taako’s hands in his. “I’ll come back, I promise. I just need to find a way to end this.” Taako could feel tears beginning to well up in his eyes. Dammit! Why did he have to start crying now? He didn’t cry. He didn’t ever cry.

“It’s fine.” Taako yanked his hands away, starting back towards the door. 

“Taako, wait.” Kravitz grabbed the elf’s hand, dragging him back towards him. “What’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s fine.” Taako said flatly. “Everyone leaves eventually. It’s just what happens.” Kravitz looked down at him, his eyes so soulful and caring that Taako almost started to cry. 

“I’m not running away.” Kraviz said. “Not this time. I need to finish this. Then I’ll be back for you.” He leaned down and kissed Taako. Taako immediately closed his eyes, losing himself in the kiss. He’d wanted to do this ever since he’d met Kravitz. He wrapped his arms around Kravitz’s waist, pulling him close. He didn’t want to let him go. But when he opened his eyes, Kravitz was gone. Instead, Taako was left holding a fist full of raven black feathers. Taako’s lip quivered. He made his way back to the castle and shut himself in his room, burying himself under the covers and crying until his voice was hoarse. 

“Let’s leave him be,” Lydia suggested when she found Angus hovered beside Taako’s door. 

“He needs some space.” Edward added. Angus hesitated, but did as he was told, leaving Taako alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. School picked up a bit. We're getting close to the end and I'm going to try and work on it as much as I can.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup reappears!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I listened to the Dallas liveshow and finally got the inspiration to write another chapter. Sorry about the sporadic updates.

The next day, Taako saw his sister. He’d been moping ever since Kravitz had left, buried under his blanket. He’d snuck up to Kravitz’s room in the middle of the night to steal some of Kravitz’s clothing and now he laid under the blankets, just holding the shirt and breathing in Kravitz’s scent. He should have known better than to fall in love again. It was always more trouble than it was worth. But Kravitz was so understanding, so kind. So unlike Sazed had been. He wanted to be happy with Kravitz, wanted a life with him. But that would never work. It never did. Suddenly, though, he heard a commotion from outside. Angus was shouting, as were Edward and Lydia, and a familiar voice. Taako jumped out of bed and slammed his door open. Lup paused in her attempted throttling of Lydia.

“Lulu!” Taako’s face lit up and he ran towards his sister.

“Koko!” Lup dropped Lydia and threw herself onto Taako.

“Your sister is every bit as disrespectful as you,” Lydia said, rubbing her neck. Both Taako and Lup gave her the finger.

“It’s so good to see you!” Lup pulled away. “I was starting to think you were dead!”

“I probably should have sent you a letter or some shit,” Taako admitted, pulling on the brim of his hat.

“Don’t worry about it.” Lup waved her hand dismissively. “I didn’t think the world would actually kill my darling baby brother.”

“Three minutes. You’re older by three minutes.”

“Hello, Miss Lup ma’am.” Angus bowed awkwardly. “It’s really nice to meet you.” Lup stared at him, then picked him up and hugged him.

“Taako. Taako, he’s too cute.” She said. “He’s like a little Lucretia-ling.”

“Ah, yeah. I guess he is.” Taako admitted. “Speaking of ‘Cretia...I kinda pissed her off and-”

“And now she’s trying to bring Kravitz in because she thinks he’s responsible for getting you into this mess.” Lup glared pointedly at the witches, who smiled innocently. “Yeah, I heard.”

“How’d _you_ hear about it?” Taako asked, frowning.

“It’s...a long story.” Lup avoided looking at him. The witches exchanged a glance, beginning to circle Lup.

“Methinks someone has a secret~” Lydia purred, grazing the side of Lup’s face with a finger. Lup swatted the finger away, a look of defiant anger burning in her eyes.

“And what’s this?” Edward snatched a pouch from her side. “You came bearing gifts? How sweet of you.”

“Those are for Taako!” Lup tried to snatch the bag back, but the witches were already digging through the contents.

“A listening bug!” Lydia drew out a small black slug. Lup’s face went pale, or as pale as it could go, and she backed up.

“What a naughty girl you are.” Edward cooed, patting Lup’s shoulder.

“Give me that.” Taako snatched the listening bug away from the witches, throwing it into the fire.

“Hey!” Raven began to cough and sputter. “Don’t just throw these things into my mouth!”

“Why did you bring a listening bug into here?” Taako demanded, turning to his sister. Lup avoided looking at her brother, beginning to wring her hands.

“She took Barry.” She finally said.

“What?!”

“Well, it’s more accurate to say the king took Barry.” Lup corrected herself. “Soldiers showed up and took him and Lucas. They told me if I ever wanted to see Barry again, I had to turn you in.”

“I didn’t think she’d go this far,” Taako said. He felt sick. Lucretia was his friend. She wasn’t supposed to try and hurt him.

“I don’t think she wanted to go this far.” Lup stared down at her feet. “I know I didn’t want to.”

“I can’t…Why would she do this?” Taako started to pace back and forth.

“She thinks she’s doing the right thing.” Lup took a step toward him, which the witches tried to obstruct before Angus shooed them away. “But Taako, I want to know something.”

“What is it?” Taako muttered, very much wishing he had his hat to pull down over his face.

“Do you love this man?” She put her hands on his shoulders.

Taako blinked. “Lulu, you know I am very bad with admitting I have feelings about anyone. I don’t even want to admit I love _you_!”

“I don’t want to bring this guy in if you actually love him, Taako,” Lup said, her expression one of grim determination. They both knew Taako fell in love easily, but seldom genuinely stuck around unless he was in real deep. He had been with Kravitz for quite a while now.

“Gods, I don’t know.” Taako moved away from her, rolling his shoulders in an approximation of a shrug. “I don’t want to talk about this.” He started heading for his room, eager to escape this situation. He just wanted to hide and forget about this.

“Taako.” Lup grabbed his wrist, dragging him back. “Talk to me.” Taako turned to look back at his sister. His ears were flat against his head, like a cat’s.

“Not here.” He mumbled, eyes darting to the witches and Angus. He dragged Lup into his room and closed the door behind them.

“And no snooping!” He yelled, sure they’d try to listen in on his conversation. He cast a silencing spell on the door too, just to be safe.

“Spill.” Lup flopped on his bed, resting her head on her hands. Taako hunched his shoulders and sat down beside her, picking up his hat and starting to play with it.

“I like him.” He admitted. “I like him a lot.”

“I knew it!” Lup fist pumped. “You wouldn’t put your life on the line for just anyone!”

“But he left,” Taako said. “He said something not wanting to run anymore and he took off. He’s probably off fighting and shit.”

“Something tells me he’ll come back for you.” Lup gave him a smile and patted his shoulder. “He seems like a real softie.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” Taako asked. “What if he leaves like everyone else?” Lup looked around the room, the room that Kravitz had lovingly recreated, and at all the gifts scattered around the room.

“Did he do all this for you?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, he’s definitely coming back.”

“But how can you tell?” Taako draped himself across the bed like a cat, very clearly trying to show that he was languishing. Lup gave him a pointed look and gestured around the room.

“He did all this. For you.” She said. “He recreated your room, he gave you presents. The guy’s totally head over heels for you.”

“But-”

“Taako. No. No buts.” Lup put a finger to his lips. “Kravitz is crazy about you. I’m pretty sure he would die for you.”

“Not sure I’d go that far,” Taako said. “But okay…” Lup grinned and got up, dusting off her clothing.

“I’ll feed ‘Cretia some bullshit excuse, okay?” She said. “But when this is all over, I wanna meet him.”

“You better not make this weird.” Taako got up and followed her out of his room. “I don’t want you scaring him away.”

“I make no promises.” Lup’s smile spread. Taako groaned.

“So, is everything okay?” Angus asked, looking from Taako to Lup.

“Everything’s fine, pumpkin.” Taako patted the boy’s head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll see you later, Koko.” Lup grabbed the bag the witches had confiscated. “And I better get to meet your boy toy.” Then she was gone, disappearing out the door and into the street.

“What an interesting girl,” Lydia said.

“Touch her and you die.”


End file.
